The Making of a Manager

Introduction

Great Managers Are Made, Not Born!

Another tactic in my self-education started about four years ago, when I decided to write a blog. I thought that the act of sitting down every week and sorting through the jumble of thoughts ping-ponging around my head would help me make sense of them. I called my blog The Year of the Looking Glass because, like Alice, “I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.” One day, far in the future, I imagined looking back on my collection of posts and recalling my journey. Here were all the things I struggled with. Here are all the ways I have learned.

When I considered this, I thought, Maybe I can write this book, because it’s more relevant for a certain group of people now: new managers thrown into the deep end, overwhelmed managers wondering how to best help their reports, managers dealing with fast-growing teams, or those simply curious about management. I was one of them not so long ago.

Dear reader, I hope that this book gives you useful tips for your day-to-day. But more importantly, I hope this book helps you understand the whys of management, because only when you’ve bought into the whys can you truly be effective in the hows.

• Why do managers even exist?
• Why should you have one-on-one meetings with your reports?
• Why should you hire Candidate A over Candidate B?
• Why do so many managers make the same mistakes?

This is a book about how someone with no formal training learned to become a confident manager. This is the book I wish I had in my first few years, with all my fears and doubts and am-I-crazies. This is the book that’s here to tell you that your fears and doubts are normal, and, like me, you’re going to figure it out.

1. What Is Management?

A Manager’s Job Is To...

• have meetings with reports to help them solve their problems,
• share feedback about what is or isn’t going well,
• and figure out who should be promoted and who should be fired.

Fast-forward three years. Having done the job now, I’m a bit wiser. My revised answer would look like the following.

A Manager’s Job Is To...

• build a team that works well together,
• support members in reaching their career goals,
• and create processes to get work done smoothly and efficiently.

As you can see, my answers evolved from basic, day-to-day activities (having meetings and giving feedback) to longer-term goals (building teams and supporting career growth). The new answers sound smarter and more grown-up. Go, me! Except... they’re still not quite right.

You might be thinking, Well, what’s wrong with these answers? Great managers certainly do all the things on both lists.

Actually, you’d be a manager even if you didn’t hire them or pay them. The management aspect has nothing to do with employment status and everything to do with the fact that you are no longer trying to get something done by yourself.

This is the crux of management: It is the belief that a team of people can achieve more than a single person going it alone. It is the realization that you don’t have to do everything yourself, be the best at everything yourself, or even know how to do everything yourself. Your job, as a manager, is to get better outcomes from a group of people working together. It’s from this simple definition that everything else flows.

How Do You Tell A Great Manager From An Average Manager?

• Are they well regarded by other people?
• Can they solve big, strategic problems?
• Do they give killer presentations?
• Can they knock out twenty important tasks in a day?
• Reply to emails while waiting in line for coffee?
• Defuse a tense situation?
• Always be closing? Etc., etc.

These are all wonderful qualities to have in a manager, to be sure, and we’ll discuss many of them later on, but the litmus test of whether or not a manager is excelling doesn’t need to be so complex. If the job is defined as getting better outcomes from a group of people working together, then a great manager’s team will consistently achieve great outcomes. a great manager’s team will consistently deliver concepts that wow. A mediocre manager’s team will produce work that gets the job done but doesn’t stand out. A bad manager’s team will regularly suggest proposals that make you think, Surely we can do better than this when it comes to evaluations, one should look at “the output of the work unit and not simply the activity involved. Obviously, you measure a salesman by the orders he gets (output), not by the calls he makes (activity).”

Chris Cox, Facebook’s chief product officer. One of the earliest conversations I remember us having is when I asked him how he evaluates the job of a manager. He smiled and said, “My framework is quite simple.” Half of what he looked at was my team’s results—did we achieve our aspirations in creating valuable, easy-to-use, and well-crafted design work? The other half was based on the strength and satisfaction of my team—did I do a good job hiring and developing individuals, and was my team happy and working well together?

The first criterion looks at our team’s present outcomes; the second criterion asks whether we’re set up for great outcomes in the future.

Through thick or thin, in spite of the hundreds of things calling for your attention every day, never forget what you’re ultimately here to do: help your team achieve great outcomes.

The Three Things Managers Think About All Day

Hackman’s research describes five conditions that increase a team’s odds of success: having a real team (one with clear boundaries and stable membership), a compelling direction, an enabling structure, a supportive organizational context, and expert coaching.

purpose, people, and process.

Purpose - The Why?

The purpose is the outcome your team is trying to accomplish, otherwise known as the why. Why do you wake up and choose to do this thing instead of the thousands of other things you could be doing? Why pour your time and energy into this particular goal with this particular group of people? What would be different about the world if your team were wildly successful? Everyone on the team should have a similar picture of why does our work matter? If this purpose is missing or unclear, then you may experience conflicts or mismatched expectations.

To prevent these misalignments, you’ll need to get him and the other members of your team on board with what you truly care about.

At the same time, you can’t simply demand that everyone believe in your vision. The first big part of your job as a manager is to ensure that your team knows what success looks like and cares about achieving it.

Getting everyone to understand and believe in your team’s purpose, whether it’s as specific as “make every customer who calls feel cared for” or as broad as “bring the world closer together,” requires understanding and believing in it yourself, and then sharing it at every opportunity—from writing emails to setting goals, from checking in with a single report to hosting large-scale meetings.

People - The Who?

The next important bucket that managers think about is people, otherwise known as the who. Are the members of your team set up to succeed? Do they have the right skills? Are they motivated to do great work?

To manage people well, you must develop trusting relationships with them, understand their strengths and weaknesses (as well as your own), make good decisions about who should do what (including hiring and firing when necessary), and coach individuals to do their best.

Process - The How?

Finally, the last bucket is process, which describes how your team works together. You might have a superbly talented team with a very clear understanding of what the end goal is, but if it’s not apparent how everyone’s supposed to work together or what the team’s values are, then even simple tasks can get enormously complicated. Who should do what by when? What principles should govern decision-making?

When you are working by yourself, you get to make all the decisions. You are limited only by how fast you can think and act.

In a team setting, it’s impossible for a group of people to coordinate what needs to get done without spending time on it. The larger the team, the more time is needed. As talented as we are, mind reading is not a core human competency. We need to establish common values within our team for how we make decisions and respond to problems. For managers, important processes to master include running effective meetings, future proofing against past mistakes, planning for tomorrow, and nurturing a healthy culture.

Purpose, people, process. The why, the who, and the how. A great manager constantly asks herself how she can influence these levers to improve her team’s outcomes

Multiplier Effect

What matters more is how much of a multiplier effect she has on her team. So how does this work in practice?

Training isn’t the only thing I can do. If I spend all my time personally selling lemonade, then I’m contributing an additive amount to my business, not a multiplicative one. My performance as a manager would be considered poor because I’m actually operating as an individual contributor. In real life, it’s not so easy to quantify what you might get out of doing one thing versus another, and we’ll talk more about best practices for prioritizing your time in later chapters. But no matter what you choose, the principles of success remain the same.

Managing In Survival Mode

Managing in survival mode requires prioritizing immediate needs over long-term goals. In such situations, investing in purpose, people, and processes may need to take a backseat to urgent actions. The decision of whether to focus on short-term gains or long-term planning depends on the context and the specific circumstances at hand.

When facing imminent challenges or threats, it becomes paramount to address those issues first, rather than solely focusing on future plans. Immediate survival takes precedence, just as basic physiological needs like breathing come before other needs in Maslow's hierarchy. Once the immediate threats are mitigated, attention can shift to higher-level needs and future planning.

If an organization is on the brink of collapse, immediate action is required. The manager must prioritize turning things around, even if it means taking unconventional or drastic measures. When in survival mode, the focus is on doing whatever it takes to survive. Once the immediate threats are addressed and the organization moves beyond survival, the manager can shift their attention to long-term planning and strategies that will yield future success.

How Do You Know If You’Ll Be A Great Manager?

I learned my lesson. Ever since then, when people say they are interested in management, I try to understand what they find appealing about it and whether that matches what would be their actual day-to-day job. Perhaps you had a great manager yourself, and you’re inspired to do what she does. Perhaps you love mentoring others. Perhaps you want to progress in your career, or make more money, or call more of the shots. Some of these reasons match well with the realities of management. Some don’t.

If you are wondering whether you can be a great manager, ask yourself these three questions.

1. Do I Find It More Motivating to Achieve a Particular Outcome or to Play a Specific Role?

As a manager, you are judged on your team’s outcomes, so your job is to do whatever most helps them succeed. If your team is lacking key skills, then you need to spend your time training or hiring. If someone is creating problems for others, then you need to get him to stop. If people don’t know what they should be doing, then you need to construct a plan. A lot of this work is unglamorous. But because it’s important, it must be done, and if nobody else does it, then it falls to you.

This is why adaptability is a key trait of great managers. As your team changes—whether it’s goals shifting, people joining or leaving, or processes evolving—what you do every day will also change. If you’re committed to your purpose, then you will probably enjoy (or at least not mind) the variation that comes with the job.

If, instead, there is a specific activity that you love too much to give up—whether it’s seeing patients, teaching students, writing code, or designing products—then you may find your personal goals at odds with what the team needs most.

This question is more important than any other on the list, and a strong yes can make up for almost anything, which is why you see leaders with vastly different strengths and temperaments helming companies. What they have in common is that their number one priority is making their team successful, and they are willing to adapt to become the leaders that their organizations need.

2. Do I Like Talking with People?

You can’t separate management from team, so there is no getting around the fact that, as a manager, you will have to spend a lot of time with other people. A major part of your responsibility is ensuring that the individuals you support are able to thrive. This means that listening to and talking with them are a core part of the job.

If I told you that 70 percent of your day would be spent in meetings, what’s your immediate reaction? That number might be an exaggeration, but if your first thought is No problem! then you’re the kind of person who is likely to get energy from interacting with others.

If, on the other hand, your first thought is Wow, that sounds awful, then you’ll probably find the day-to-day of management challenging. You don’t have to be an extrovert—I’m not, and plenty of other managers, from Steven Spielberg to Eleanor Roosevelt, aren’t either—but the role isn’t likely to suit you if what you aspire for in a workday is long, uninterrupted blocks of quiet focus.

3. Can I Provide Stability for an Emotionally Challenging Situation?

Because management is all about people, and each person brings his or her own unique experiences, motivations, hopes, fears, and quirks to the table, managers face their fair share of hard conversations. You may need to tell someone that she isn’t meeting the expectations of her role. Even worse, you may have to look her in the eyes and tell her she no longer has a job. People may break down and tell you about the difficult issues they face that affect their work—family problems, personal tragedies, health concerns, mental illnesses, and more.

Nobody likes these tough situations, but some people are better than others at remaining steady and providing care and support through the bumps and dips of life. If you’re the friend whom others lean on in difficult times, who might be described as empathetic and undramatic, who can be counted on to defuse rather than escalate tensions, then you’ll be better equipped to deal with the range of emotionally charged scenarios that meet any manager’s path.

Below are some other common answers to the question, “Why do you want to be a manager?”

I Want to Progress in My Career

Progressing in one's career is often associated with getting a promotion and moving into a managerial role. Many organizations have a career growth ceiling unless individuals start managing people. This is particularly true for aspiring CEOs or VPs, as leadership positions typically require managerial experience. Some fields, like customer support or retail sales, also limit growth beyond a certain skill level, necessitating the transition to managing and coordinating teams. However, certain organizations, especially those seeking highly skilled or creative talent, offer alternative paths for advancement that don't involve managing others. For instance, in fields like surgery or technology, there are parallel career paths for expert individual contributors that provide equal opportunities for impact, growth, and compensation up to executive levels.

In organizations that support individual contributor growth, individuals have the choice to pursue a managerial or non-managerial path based on their strengths and interests. For example, becoming a distinguished expert in a specific field, such as a renowned surgeon or a sought-after engineer, can lead to increased compensation and impact without the need for a managerial role. It is essential to assess the options available and determine which path aligns better with personal abilities and aspirations.

I Want Freedom to Call the Shots

People yearn for the freedom to be in control of their own destiny, making decisions without being dictated by others. However, true leadership involves making choices in the team's best interest, as decisions that do not align with the team's needs erode trust and render managers ineffective. No leader has unlimited freedom without accountability, as bad decisions can lead to negative consequences, such as a failing business or even being dismissed as a CEO. Inspiring people to action yields better outcomes in management than simply giving orders, as people need to be genuinely motivated and believe in the ideas presented.

I Was Asked to Be a Manager

Becoming a manager should not be driven solely by a sense of obligation or the belief that it is the next logical step. It is crucial to genuinely want the role and understand its responsibilities. While personal enjoyment led the author to become a manager, a similar scenario proved to be a mismatch for their star designer, resulting in negative consequences for the team. To gain insight into management, one can engage in activities like mentoring, working with interns, or interviewing recently transitioned managers. If it turns out that management is not the desired path, open communication with one's manager can help explore alternative career options.

The Difference Between Leadership And Management

When I first started the job, I considered manager and leader to be synonyms. Managers lead, and leaders manage, right?

Nope, wrong. Manager is a specific role, just as elementary school teacher and heart surgeon are specific roles. As we discussed a few pages ago, there are clear principles outlining what a manager does and how his success is measured.

Leadership, on the other hand, is the particular skill of being able to guide and influence other people.

“What makes a good leader is that they eschew the spotlight in favor of spending time and energy to do what they need to do to support and protect their people,” writes Simon Sinek in Leaders Eat Last. In return, “We offer our blood and sweat and tears and do everything we can to see our leader’s vision come to life.” Now, a manager who doesn’t know how to influence others isn’t going to be particularly effective at improving the outcomes of her team. So to be a great manager, one must certainly be a leader.

A leader, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be a manager. Anyone can exhibit leadership, regardless of their role. Think of a store clerk calmly directing shoppers to safety when the screeching tornado bell goes off in a mall. Think of a passionate citizen going door-to-door and convincing neighbors to join him in protesting a recent decision. Think of generations upon generations of mothers and fathers demonstrating to their children what it means to act like a responsible adult. If you picture your own organization, you can probably come up with many examples of leadership: an individual contributor who surfaces important customer complaints and then coordinates solutions across multiple teams, a team member who rallies a group to work on a new idea, a veteran employee who is a sought-out oracle of wisdom. If you can pinpoint a problem and motivate others to work with you to solve it, then you’re leading.

Leadership is a quality rather than a job. We are all leaders and followers at different points in our lives. Many aspects of this book should be useful to those looking to grow as leaders as well as managers, and great managers should cultivate leadership not just in themselves but also within their teams. This is an important distinction because while the role of a manager can be given to someone (or taken away), leadership is not something that can be bestowed. It must be earned. People must want to follow you.

You can be someone’s manager, but if that person does not trust or respect you, you will have limited ability to influence him. I did not suddenly become a “leader” the day my title officially changed. On the contrary, some of my reports were initially skeptical, and it took time for us to develop a strong relationship. In your early days as a manager, what matters most is transitioning gracefully into the role and nailing the essentials of leading a small team. Only when you have built trust with your reports will you have the credibility to help them achieve more together.

2. Your First 3 Months

Whenever a new manager joins my team, my favorite questions to ask a few months in are: “What turned out to be more challenging than you expected, and what was easier than you expected?”

No matter how you’ve arrived at your new role, congratulations are in order because this much is true: Somebody—more likely many people—believed in you and your potential to lead a team. That’s why you’re holding this book. Your path here probably took one of the four routes below:

• Apprentice: Your manager’s team is growing, so you’ve been asked to manage a part of it going forward.

• Pioneer: You are a founding member of a new group, and you’re now responsible for its growth.

• New Boss: You’re coming in to manage an already established team, either within your existing organization or at a new one.

• Successor: Your manager has decided to leave, and you are taking his place.

Depending on your path, different things may be easy or hard for you in your first three months. Choose your own adventure below to learn more about what to expect.

The Apprentice

What to Take Advantage Of:

When you become an apprentice manager, it's usually because your team needs more support. Your manager will give you guidance and help you transition smoothly. You'll start with a small number of people to manage, and your manager will make sure you have a good relationship with them. You can discuss important things with your manager, like your responsibilities, how your transition will be communicated, and what success looks like in the first few months.

What to Watch Out For:

It might feel strange to be the boss of your former teammates. You'll need to understand their career goals, strengths, and areas where they need help. You'll have to have difficult conversations and give feedback to help your team improve. Your peers might treat you differently or share less information with you. It's important to establish trust and encourage open communication. Balancing your own work and management responsibilities can be challenging. Eventually, you'll need to scale back your individual contributor tasks to focus on being the best manager.

Personal Anecdote:

When I became an apprentice manager, I continued doing design work alongside my management duties. But as my team grew, it became hard to juggle everything, and the quality of my work suffered. I learned that to be a great manager, I had to let go of some individual contributor tasks and focus on leading my team effectively. Remember, being an apprentice manager means learning how to be a good leader and manager at the same time. It's important to communicate with your manager, build trust with your team, and find the right balance between your own work and managing others.

The Pioneer

What to Take Advantage Of:

• As a pioneer, you were the first to take on a challenge and now your team is growing.
• Use your experience to define the job and take it to the next level.
• Spend time calibrating with your new team on goals, values, and processes.
• Reflect on how you made decisions, what a job well done looks like, and the responsibilities you handled alone.
• Identify new processes needed now that the team is growing.
• Enjoy the privilege of building your own team and culture.
• Be deliberate in choosing team members with desired qualities and complementary skills.
• Visualize how the team should look and function in the future.
• Consider how your own role and responsibilities will evolve.

What to Watch Out For:

• As a pioneer, you may not have much support or others doing the same role in your organization.
• Seek help from managers in related functions within your organization and from managers in your area of expertise outside your organization.
• Learn from their experiences and ask for advice when facing challenges.
• Connect with leaders in similar roles at other companies for support and to discuss industry challenges and trends.

Personal Anecdote:

• When I was the only design manager at Facebook, I sought advice from engineering managers who faced similar challenges in the past.
• They shared their insights and solutions, which helped me navigate new situations.
• Outside my organization, I found value in connecting with design managers from companies like Google, Airbnb, and Amazon.
• We discussed common challenges in the design industry and learned from each other's experiences.

Remember, as a pioneer, you have the opportunity to shape and grow your team. Use your expertise to set goals, values, and processes. Seek support from within and outside your organization to learn from others' experiences. Building a network of supportive peers can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the challenges of being a pioneer.

The New Boss

What to Take Advantage Of:

• You have a window of time, around three months, where people recognize you as the new leader and cut you some slack.
• Use this period to ask questions and learn as much as possible about the team, their work, and the current strategy.
• Seek one-on-one meetings with individuals you anticipate working closely with to build relationships and understand their priorities.
• Embrace your role as a newbie and ask questions, even if you think you're the only one who doesn't know.
• Your fresh start allows you to form new ties and reset your identity as a leader.
• Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, be open-minded, and communicate the kind of manager you want to be.
• In one-on-one meetings with your reports, ask about their preferences for support, feedback, recognition, and their ideal manager.

What to Watch Out For:

• Adjusting to a new team takes time, so focus on listening, asking questions, and learning in your first few months.
• Avoid jumping in and asserting opinions before you're properly informed, as it can backfire.
• Calibrate your expectations by discussing specific scenarios with your own manager.
• Invest in building new relationships, as trust needs to be established from scratch.
• Address the potential discomfort of sharing openly as a new leader and strive to earn trust over time.
• Be honest with your manager about what's working and what isn't, and seek guidance on ramping up.
• Proactively communicate any difficulties you encounter, as it allows for constructive solutions and improvements.
• Remember, as a new boss, you have the advantage of a grace period to learn and build relationships. Use this time to gather information, ask questions, and establish open communication. Being honest and proactive in addressing challenges will help set a positive tone for your leadership journey.

The Successor

What to Take Advantage Of:

While the advantages of this transition are similar to those of the apprentice (you have a sense of what works and what doesn’t, and you’re able to ramp up quickly because you come in with context, as described earlier), the differences are also striking.

What to Watch Out For:

• Establishing a new dynamic with former peers can feel awkward. Refer to the description in "The Apprentice" section for insights.
• The increase in responsibility can be overwhelming, as you're now responsible for the entire team, not just a portion of it.
• You may underestimate the extent of what you've inherited from your former manager, as they likely shielded the team from various requests and behind-the-scenes work.
• Be kind to yourself and seek support from your new manager and colleagues during the transition period.
• Communicate openly with your colleagues about the period of adjustment and ask for their help and support.
• Avoid feeling pressured to do things exactly like your former manager. Give yourself permission to move on from the past and be the leader you want to be.
• Embrace change as a prerequisite for improvement and focus on playing to your strengths.

Remember, you don't have to replicate your predecessor's style and approach. Allow yourself to grow into your own role and make necessary changes to support your team effectively. It may take time to feel comfortable and confident in your new position, so be patient with yourself and continue learning and adapting along the way. The upcoming chapters will provide guidance on various aspects of being a manager and help you become the manager you aspire to be.

3. Leading a small team

Managing a small team is about mastering a few basic fundamentals: developing a healthy manager–report relationship and creating an environment of support. In this chapter, we’ll dive in to the specifics of those skills.

The Importance of People in Management

In management, everything always goes back to people. While a manager's job involves influencing purpose, people, and process, people play the most crucial role in achieving better outcomes.

To understand what leads people to do great work, it's helpful to consider what gets in the way of good work. According to Andy Grove in "High Output Management," there are two possibilities: either people don't know how to do good work, or they know how but lack motivation.

When someone doesn't know how to do great work, it may be because they lack the necessary skills for the job. As a manager, you have two options: help your team member acquire the required skills or consider hiring someone with the needed expertise.

On the other hand, when someone lacks motivation to do great work, it could be due to various reasons. They may not have a clear understanding of what great work entails or the role may not align with their aspirations. Additionally, if they believe that their efforts won't bring about meaningful change or won't be rewarded, their motivation may be affected.

To address concerns about lackluster work, the first step is to diagnose the underlying people issues. Determine whether it's a matter of motivation or skill by having open and honest conversations with your team members. Start by aligning expectations regarding what constitutes "great work" and then delve into the motivation aspect. If the concerns persist, explore whether additional skills development is necessary.

Regardless of the size of your team or the nature of the work, knowing how to diagnose and solve problems with your reports is crucial for shared success. It begins with building a stable foundation for your relationships, fostering open communication, and creating an environment where constructive conversations can take place.

Remember, people are at the core of effective management, and understanding their motivations, skills, and aspirations is key to unlocking their potential and achieving exceptional outcomes as a team.

Trust is the most important ingredient

Trust is the most important ingredient in a manager-report relationship. Building and maintaining trust can be challenging, especially when you hold more power and influence in the dynamic. As the manager, the responsibility of fostering trust falls primarily on your shoulders.

Consider your own relationship with your manager. When things aren't going well and you feel discouraged or overwhelmed, do you openly express your concerns? In many cases, individuals hesitate to admit their struggles to their managers, fearing it may reflect negatively on their competence or capabilities. They may downplay challenges and stress, striving to maintain a positive image.

However, when reports refrain from sharing their genuine thoughts and concerns, it becomes difficult for you as a manager to provide assistance. Early warning signs may go unnoticed, leading to larger issues in the future. Unresolved dissatisfaction can fester beneath the surface, ultimately resulting in surprise resignations. When that happens, individuals are not only leaving the company but also leaving you as their manager.

To avoid being blindsided and cultivate an environment of trust, it is essential to establish a relationship where your reports feel comfortable being completely honest. They should have no doubt that you genuinely care about their well-being. Achieving this level of trust is indicated by the following three statements:

1. Your reports feel safe to share their true thoughts and concerns without fear of negative repercussions.
2. They believe that you genuinely listen and care about their opinions, ideas, and challenges.
3. They trust that you will take appropriate action and provide support to address their concerns.

When trust is established, open and honest communication flourishes. Your reports will feel empowered to seek guidance, share difficulties, and contribute their best work. Trust forms the foundation for a healthy and productive manager-report relationship, enabling both parties to navigate challenges and achieve success together.

Remember, trust is not automatically granted but is built over time through consistent actions, active listening, empathy, and demonstrating genuine care for your reports' well-being. Investing in trust pays dividends in the form of increased engagement, loyalty, and a thriving team environment.

Assessing Trust in Manager-Report Relationships

Building trust in a manager-report relationship is crucial for open communication, collaboration, and mutual growth. Here are several indicators that demonstrate the presence of trust in your relationship with your reports:

1. Openness about challenges: Reports feel comfortable sharing their mistakes, challenges, and fears with you. They trust that you will provide support and work through difficulties together. Early communication allows for timely intervention and resolution of issues.
2. Willingness to give and receive critical feedback: Both you and your reports are open to providing constructive criticism without taking it personally. Your reports feel comfortable expressing concerns about your decisions or providing feedback on your performance. This open dialogue fosters a culture of continuous improvement.
3. Awkward but meaningful conversations: Meaningful conversations often feel a little awkward. You create an environment where discussing mistakes, addressing tensions, and sharing deep fears or hopes can occur. Trust enables these conversations to happen, leading to growth and understanding.
4. Vulnerability and compassion in communication: Trust allows for vulnerability and compassionate criticism. Just as you can provide honest feedback to your best friend without fear of causing offense, your reports feel secure receiving feedback from you, knowing it comes from a place of care and support.
5. Reports' willingness to work with you again: A strong indicator of the quality of your relationships is whether your reports would choose to work with you as their manager again. In anonymous surveys or reflective assessments, consider whether your reports would willingly join your team in the future if given the choice. Their willingness reflects their trust in your leadership and management abilities.
6. Evaluation of the qualities of a perfect manager: Engage in conversations with your reports about the qualities they value in a perfect manager. Compare their descriptions with your own performance to gain insight into how well you meet their expectations. Directly asking, "Would you work for me again?" may not yield entirely honest responses, so exploring their ideal manager characteristics provides a more nuanced understanding.

Building trust takes time and consistent effort. Actively listening, demonstrating empathy, providing support, and maintaining confidentiality contribute to creating a foundation of trust. By fostering trust in your manager-report relationships, you create an environment that encourages open communication, collaboration, and growth for both you and your reports.

Strive to be Human, Not Boss

To foster trust and meaningful relationships with your reports, it is essential to approach your role as a human being rather than just a boss. Here are some key actions that contribute to building trust and connection:

1. Relate through shared experiences: Share personal stories or examples of your own struggles and mistakes as a manager. When your reports see that you understand and empathize with their challenges, it creates a sense of connection and relatability. This relatability humanizes you and makes it easier for them to approach you with their concerns.

2. Respect and genuine care: Demonstrate authentic respect and care for your reports. This goes beyond superficial niceties and requires a genuine belief in their potential for success. Your actions and body language should convey your unwavering belief in their abilities. Authentic care involves supporting their growth, even if it means providing constructive feedback and challenging their perspectives.

3. Balancing support and accountability: Supporting your reports does not mean blindly endorsing their every action. True support involves guiding them towards improvement and success by providing honest feedback, even when it includes critique. Showcasing a willingness to hold them accountable for their mistakes while still believing in their potential fosters trust and personal growth.

4. Approach disagreements constructively: When disagreements arise, approach them with the intention of finding common ground and understanding different perspectives. Encourage open dialogue, actively listen to your reports' viewpoints, and engage in respectful discussions. Constructive conflict resolution strengthens relationships and builds trust.

5. Show genuine interest in their success: Invest time and effort in understanding your reports' career aspirations and personal goals. Offer guidance, opportunities for growth, and mentorship to help them achieve their objectives. By demonstrating a sincere interest in their success, you create a supportive environment that nurtures trust and loyalty.

6. Be present and attentive: Actively engage with your reports during conversations and meetings. Listen attentively, ask thoughtful questions, and provide meaningful input. Show genuine interest in their well-being and professional development. Being present and attentive demonstrates your commitment to their success and strengthens the manager-report relationship.

Remember, building human connections requires authenticity, empathy, and a willingness to invest in your reports' growth. By approaching your role with respect, care, and a genuine belief in their potential, you can create a trusting and supportive environment that fosters individual and team success.

Genuine Care and Unconditional Respect in Management

Caring for your reports goes beyond supporting their work; it involves helping them succeed and find fulfillment. Here are some key aspects to consider when it comes to caring and respect in the manager-report relationship:

1. Understanding personal aspirations: Take the time to understand what your reports care about beyond their immediate work responsibilities. Learn about their personal goals, interests, and passions. Recognize that their personal and professional lives can intersect, and be open to discussing and supporting both aspects. This understanding demonstrates your investment in their holistic well-being.

2. Unconditional respect: Respect should not be contingent upon a person's performance or success. It should be an inherent belief in their worth as an individual. Your respect for your reports should remain steadfast, even during challenging times or when they encounter setbacks. When your reports know that your respect is unwavering, they will feel comfortable being honest and open with you, fostering a culture of trust and transparency.

3. Supporting through struggles: True care and respect are demonstrated when your reports face difficulties or setbacks. Your willingness to provide support, guidance, and resources during these times shows that you genuinely care about their growth and well-being. Creating an environment where struggling is seen as an opportunity for learning and development helps build resilience and trust within your team.

4. Separating identity from performance: Recognize that your reports are not solely defined by their work output or performance on a particular team. Appreciate their diverse strengths, experiences, and potential. By seeing them as multifaceted individuals, you acknowledge their inherent value beyond their current role or achievements. This perspective fosters a sense of belonging and encourages them to bring their authentic selves to work.

5. Maintaining connections beyond work: True respect extends beyond the confines of the workplace. Even when professional relationships change or end, continue to value and nurture connections with your former reports. Taking the time to catch up and show interest in their lives demonstrates that your respect for them transcends organizational roles or circumstances.

Remember, caring and respect should be genuine, unconditional, and holistic. By demonstrating that you care about your reports as individuals, supporting them through both successes and struggles, and valuing their worth beyond their professional achievements, you create an environment where trust, honesty, and meaningful connections can thrive.

Maximizing the Value of 1:1 Meetings

One-on-one meetings (1:1s) are crucial for building strong relationships and supporting the success of your reports. By investing time and energy in these meetings, you can create a productive and supportive environment. Here are some strategies to make your 1:1s more effective:

1. Regular and dedicated time: Schedule a weekly 1:1 with each of your reports, allocating at least thirty minutes. Consistency is key to building trust and demonstrating your commitment to their development. If additional time is needed, be open to extending the meeting.

2. Focus on your report: Make the 1:1 about your report, not yourself. Use this dedicated time to discuss their needs, goals, and concerns. Avoid using the meeting solely for status updates, as other channels can serve that purpose. Prioritize topics that may be difficult to address in a group setting or through email.

3. Prepare in advance: Effective 1:1s require preparation. Encourage your reports to come to the meeting with topics they want to discuss. Similarly, take the time to review their current projects, challenges, and career aspirations. This preparation demonstrates your commitment and allows for a more productive conversation.

4. Create a safe and open environment: Foster an atmosphere of trust and psychological safety during 1:1s. Encourage open dialogue and active listening. Make it clear that you are there to support them and that their thoughts and concerns are valued. Create space for them to share their ideas, ask questions, and seek guidance.

5. Be a multiplier: Your role as a manager is to help your reports succeed. Use the 1:1s as an opportunity to identify and remove barriers, provide guidance, and offer valuable perspectives. By empowering your reports and boosting their confidence, you enable them to achieve their goals and grow professionally.

6. Explore various topics: While every 1:1 is unique, here are some potential discussion points:

   • Progress on current projects or assignments
   • Long-term career aspirations and development goals
   • Challenges and obstacles they are facing
   • Feedback and areas for improvement
   • Work-life balance and well-being
   • Recognition and celebration of accomplishments
   • Personal and professional growth opportunities
   • Discuss top priorities: What are the one, two, or three most critical outcomes for your report and how can you help her tackle these challenges?
   • Calibrate what “great” looks like: Do you have a shared vision of what you’re working toward? Are you in sync about goals or expectations?
   • Share feedback: What feedback can you give that will help your report, and what can your report tell you that will make you more effective as a manager?
   • Reflect on how things are going: Once in a while, it’s useful to zoom out and talk about your report’s general state of mind—how is he feeling on the whole? What’s making him satisfied or dissatisfied? Have any of his goals changed? What has he learned recently and what does he want to learn going forward?

Remember, the goal of an exceptional 1:1 is to leave your report feeling that the conversation was valuable and impactful. By prioritizing their needs, preparing in advance, fostering a supportive environment, and providing guidance, you can enhance the effectiveness of these meetings and strengthen your relationship with your reports.

Here are few questions to get the conversation flowing during your 1:1 meetings. Here's a breakdown of the questions into three categories: Identify, Understand, and Support:

Identify:

• What's top of mind for you right now? This question helps your report prioritize what they want to discuss and ensures you address their most pressing concerns or topics.
• What priorities are you thinking about this week? By asking about their priorities, you gain insight into their current focus and can align your support accordingly.
• What's the best use of our time today? This question encourages your report to consider how the meeting can be most valuable for them, ensuring that you address their specific needs and goals.

Understand:

• What does your ideal outcome look like? This question helps you understand their desired outcome or goal, allowing you to provide guidance or assistance in achieving it.
• What's hard for you in getting to that outcome? By asking about the challenges they face, you can help identify potential barriers and explore strategies to overcome them.
• What do you really care about? This question delves into their values and motivators, providing insights into what drives them and how you can support their intrinsic motivations.
• What do you think is the best course of action? By asking for their perspective on the best course of action, you empower your report to think critically and take ownership of their decisions.
• What's the worst-case scenario you're worried about? This question allows your report to express their concerns or fears, enabling you to address them and provide reassurance or guidance.

Support:

• How can I help you? This open-ended question gives your report the opportunity to express their specific needs or request assistance where necessary.
• What can I do to make you more successful? By asking this question, you demonstrate your commitment to supporting their success and invite suggestions for ways you can contribute to their growth.
• What was the most useful part of our conversation today? This question allows your report to reflect on the conversation and pinpoint the aspects that they found valuable, providing feedback on your effectiveness as a manager.

Remember to actively listen, ask follow-up questions, and create a supportive environment during the conversation. The goal is to empower your report to find their own solutions and provide the necessary support to help them thrive.

Being honest and transparent about your report's performance

This is crucial for their growth and development. Here are some key points to keep in mind:

1. Clear expectations: Ensure that your report understands what is expected of them. Communicate clearly about goals, objectives, and performance standards. This clarity helps them gauge their progress and align their efforts accordingly.

2. Regular feedback: Provide ongoing feedback to your report. Don't wait for formal performance reviews or specific situations to offer feedback. Regularly share both positive reinforcement and constructive criticism to keep them informed about their performance.

3. Open communication: Encourage open and honest communication with your report. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their challenges, concerns, and ideas. Actively listen to their perspective and provide guidance or support when needed.

4. Timely feedback: Give feedback in a timely manner. Don't wait for issues to pile up or address them months later during performance evaluations. Timely feedback allows your report to make necessary adjustments and improvements promptly.

5. Be specific and provide examples: When giving feedback, be specific about what behaviors or actions you are referring to. Use concrete examples to illustrate your points. This specificity helps your report understand the areas they need to focus on and improves their chances of making meaningful changes.

6. Offer guidance and support: Along with highlighting areas for improvement, provide guidance and support to help your report grow. Offer suggestions, resources, or opportunities for development to assist them in reaching their full potential.

7. Recognize achievements: Acknowledge and appreciate your report's successes and achievements. Celebrate milestones, commend their hard work, and provide recognition for a job well done. Positive reinforcement boosts morale and motivates them to continue performing at a high level.

Remember, the goal of providing feedback is to help your report succeed and improve. By being honest and transparent about their performance, you create a culture of growth and development within your team.

Admit Your Own Mistakes and Growth Areas

People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did;
but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Admitting your own mistakes and growth areas as a manager is a sign of strength and authenticity. Here's why it's important and how you can approach it:

1. Apologize when you make a mistake: If you say or do something that negatively impacts your team or an individual, take responsibility for your actions. Apologize sincerely and acknowledge the impact of your behavior. Show empathy and express a genuine desire to learn from the experience and do better in the future.

2. Be open about your own challenges: As a manager, you don't have to pretend to have all the answers or be flawless. Share your own personal growth areas and challenges openly with your team. This demonstrates vulnerability and creates a culture of openness and continuous improvement. It also shows that everyone, including the manager, is on a journey of growth.

3. Encourage collaboration and input: When you don't have all the answers, don't be afraid to admit it. Involve your team in problem-solving and decision-making processes. Ask for their input, ideas, and suggestions. This not only fosters a sense of ownership and engagement but also allows you to tap into the collective intelligence of your team.

4. Seek support and guidance: If you encounter a situation where you don't have the expertise or knowledge to assist your report effectively, be honest about it. Admit that you may not have all the necessary information or skills, and offer alternative resources or colleagues who might be able to provide better support. This shows humility and a willingness to prioritize your report's needs above your ego.

5. Embrace vulnerability and authenticity: Create a safe environment where both you and your team members feel comfortable being vulnerable and authentic. Encourage open discussions, share your own experiences, and foster trust. When you show up as your authentic self, it allows your team to connect with you on a deeper level and build stronger relationships.

Remember, being a manager doesn't mean being infallible. Admitting your mistakes and growth areas demonstrates humility, promotes a learning culture, and strengthens the bond between you and your team. It sets a positive example and encourages personal and professional development for everyone involved.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.

Try to admit when you don’t have the answers or when you are working through your own personal challenges. Say things like the following:

• “I don’t know the answer. What do you think?”
• “I want to come clean and apologize for what I did/said the other day...”
• “One of my personal growth areas this half is ...”
• “I’m afraid I don’t know enough to help you with that problem. Here’s someone you should talk to instead...”

By showing up authentically, with your fears, mistakes, and uncertainties out in the open rather than swept under the rug, you would be able to build better relationships with my reports.

Help People Play To Their Strengths

The job of a manager... is to turn one person’s particular talent into performance.

Helping people play to their strengths is a powerful approach to managing individuals and teams. Here's why it's important and how you can apply it:

1. Recognize and appreciate strengths: Acknowledge and appreciate the unique strengths and skills that each person brings to the team. Be specific in your recognition and provide genuine feedback about their contributions. This recognition motivates individuals and boosts their confidence.

2. Align tasks with strengths: Assign tasks and responsibilities that align with individuals' strengths and interests. When people work on tasks that leverage their strengths, they are more likely to excel and feel a sense of fulfillment. This leads to increased engagement and productivity.

3. Provide growth opportunities: Identify opportunities for individuals to further develop and utilize their strengths. Offer training, mentorship, or projects that allow them to enhance their skills and expand their capabilities in areas they are passionate about. This helps them grow both personally and professionally.

4. Foster collaboration and complementarity: Encourage team members to collaborate and leverage each other's strengths. Create an environment where individuals can seek support from others who possess complementary skills. This collaborative approach brings out the best in each team member and promotes a sense of collective achievement.

5. Prioritize high performers: While it's important to address performance issues and support struggling team members, don't neglect your top performers. Dedicate time and attention to help them maximize their potential and continue to excel. By investing in their growth and providing opportunities for advancement, you contribute to their long-term success and the overall success of the team.

6. Shift focus from fixing weaknesses to maximizing strengths: Instead of solely focusing on fixing weaknesses, shift your perspective to capitalizing on strengths. While it's necessary to address performance gaps, the majority of your time and resources should be devoted to nurturing and developing strengths. This approach yields greater results and enables individuals to become high-performing contributors.

7. Encourage continuous learning and self-awareness: Help individuals identify and understand their strengths through tools like strengths assessments or feedback discussions. Encourage them to pursue ongoing learning and self-awareness to further develop their strengths and uncover new ones. This promotes a growth mindset and a culture of continuous improvement.

Remember, when individuals play to their strengths, they experience higher job satisfaction, improved performance, and increased engagement. By focusing on strengths and creating an environment that fosters their development, you can unlock the full potential of your team and achieve exceptional results.

Don't tolerate toxic behaviour

The one thing you shouldn't tolerate on your team is toxic behavior. Brilliant lone wolves who consistently make others feel worse about themselves or target less powerful individuals may seem talented, but they create a divider effect and hinder team effectiveness. Stanford professor Robert I. Sutton coined the term "asshole" to describe such individuals.

Toxic individuals disrupt team dynamics and damage relationships. As a manager, it's crucial to recognize the negative impact they have and address the issue. Establish a clear "no-asshole rule" and communicate expectations for respectful behavior. If necessary, provide feedback, support, and consequences for those who fail to change their behavior.

It's important to understand that the team benefits when toxic individuals leave, as it allows for a more honest and productive collaboration. Remember, it is possible to find talented individuals who are also humble and kind. Don't compromise your team's values for someone who bullies others. Set a healthy team culture that does not tolerate toxic behavior.

By not tolerating toxic behavior and fostering a positive team culture, you create an environment that values collaboration, respect, and kindness. This contributes to increased trust, engagement, and productivity among team members.

You Don’T Always Have To Make It Work

When managing a team, it's important to recognize that you don't always have to "make it work" and resolve every conflict. Trying to force alignment between individuals with different values or working styles can be counterproductive and a waste of time for everyone involved.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there may be irreconcilable differences between team members or a lack of alignment with the team's values. It's crucial to accept that not every person will be a perfect fit for the team or organization.

Similar to dating, where compatibility matters, individuals must align with the team's values and goals to thrive and be happy. Recognizing this, managers should focus on understanding candidates' values during the hiring process and being transparent about the company's values.

Rather than trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, it's better to find individuals who genuinely resonate with the team's culture and passions. If someone realizes that they are better suited elsewhere, it should be celebrated as a positive realization rather than seen as a personal or organizational failure.

Ultimately, creating an environment where team members feel aligned, valued, and passionate about their work leads to greater success and fulfillment for everyone involved.

Make people moves quickly

As a manager, it's important to recognize when a team member is not a good fit for their current role or the team's values. Despite your efforts to support and coach them, if their motivations, values, or skills don't align with what is required, it may be best to make a people move.

Focusing on individual development and offering second chances is important, but sometimes additional support and pep talks won't lead to a long-term solution. If there is a fundamental mismatch in values or a significant skills gap, it's important to address the situation honestly and consider alternative options.

Investing excessive time and energy into struggling team members can be draining for both the manager and the employee. It's important to realize that prolonging the situation can create stress for the individual and have a negative impact on the rest of the team. Sometimes, the kindest action is to be honest and support the person in finding a role that better suits their interests and skills.

There are two options to consider when someone is not a good fit: helping them find a new role within the organization or letting them go. Exploring other opportunities within the company can be beneficial if there is a better fit available. However, it's crucial not to shuffle individuals around without addressing the core issues or toxic behavior.

When deciding to let someone go, it's essential to do so respectfully and directly, without viewing it as a failure on their part. It's important to take responsibility as a manager and reflect on your own decisions and actions. Terminating someone's employment should be approached with compassion and focus on the future, supporting the individual in transitioning to a new chapter.

While firing someone is an extreme situation, coaching and effective feedback can often help team members overcome challenges and grow. The next chapter explores the role of feedback in coaching and improving performance.

4. The art of feedback

Unfortunately, most people struggle with giving feedback. Sometimes, we don’t feel like we have anything useful to say. Or if we do have a critical thought, we stay silent because we worry about hurting others’ feelings. When something isn’t broken, we accept that it’s good enough, so why say more? And when we do give feedback, we put ourselves at risk because it might be perceived as “too vague to be helpful” or “too emotionally charged to be effective.” Given all this, it’s no wonder that new managers often find this the most challenging part of the job.

For a leader, giving feedback—both when things are going well and when they aren’t—is one of the most fundamental aspects of the job. Mastering this skill means that you can knock down two of the biggest barriers preventing your reports from doing great work—unclear expectations and inadequate skills—so that they know exactly where to aim and how to hit the target.

What Does Great Feedback Look Like?

If the feedback inspires you to change your behavior, which results in your life getting better, then it is a great feedback.

There’s a whole swath of things beyond “suggestions for improvement” that can inspire someone to take positive action. For one, feedback doesn’t have to be critical. Praise is often more motivating than criticism. And for another, you don’t always have to start with a problem.

Set Clear Expectations at the Beginning

Setting clear expectations at the beginning is essential for effective feedback. By establishing a shared understanding of what success looks like, potential issues can be addressed proactively, and feedback sessions can be more focused and productive. Here are the key elements to address during this phase:

1. Define What a Great Job Looks Like: Clearly articulate your expectations regarding the quality of work. Describe the characteristics of exceptional performance and how it differs from mediocre or poor performance. This provides a benchmark for the individual to strive towards.

2. Offer Advice to Get Started on the Right Foot: Provide guidance and support to help the individual start their role effectively. Share insights, best practices, and resources that can aid their initial steps. This advice should be based on your experience and what you believe will be beneficial to them.

3. Highlight Common Pitfalls to Avoid: Identify potential challenges or pitfalls that the individual may encounter. By addressing these early on, you help them navigate potential obstacles and make informed decisions. Sharing lessons learned from past experiences can be valuable in preventing avoidable mistakes.

For example: "In your first three months on the job, I expect you to build good relationships with your team, demonstrate strong collaboration skills, and gain familiarity with our processes and systems. Additionally, you should ramp up on a small-scale 'starter' project and deliver your first design iteration for review. While immediate approval is not expected, if you manage to receive the green light, that would be a remarkable achievement."

"Here's what success looks like for the next meeting you will run: You should clearly frame the different options, ensure everyone feels heard and valued, and facilitate a decision-making process that is inclusive and effective."

By establishing clear expectations, offering guidance, and highlighting potential challenges, you lay the foundation for effective feedback discussions. This approach enables both parties to align their understanding of success, anticipate potential issues, and work collaboratively towards achieving desired outcomes.

Give Task-Specific Feedback as Frequently as You Can

Task-specific feedback is crucial for helping individuals improve their performance on specific tasks or actions. It focuses on providing specific and detailed feedback about what was done well and what could be improved. Here are the key points to keep in mind when giving task-specific feedback:

1. Be Precise and Detailed: Provide specific examples and details about the task or action you are providing feedback on. This helps the individual understand exactly what aspects of their performance were effective and what areas need improvement. The more specific and detailed your feedback, the more actionable it becomes.

2. Give Feedback Soon After the Task: Timeliness is important for task-specific feedback. Ideally, provide the feedback while the task is still fresh in the individual's memory. This allows them to reflect on their performance and make adjustments promptly. For less significant tasks, sending a note via email or chat on the same day can be effective, but for more critical tasks, consider providing feedback face-to-face.

3. Make It a Habit: Incorporate task-specific feedback as a regular part of your routine. Cultivate the habit of noticing and acknowledging the actions and efforts of your reports. By providing small doses of coaching consistently, you help them improve incrementally over time.

For example: "That research report you shared yesterday was excellent. The way you succinctly summarized the most important findings at the top made it easy to process. I particularly appreciated the insight about X, which added valuable depth to the analysis."

"Quick note about the presentation you gave this morning: I noticed that you went straight to the proposal without explaining how you arrived at that conclusion. This made it difficult to fully assess why it was the best path. Next time, try spending a few minutes walking through your process and discussing the alternatives you considered. This will provide more context and clarity for the audience."

Task-specific feedback allows you to focus on the specific actions and outcomes, making it less personal and more actionable. By being precise, timely, and consistent in providing this type of feedback, you help your reports understand what they are doing well and where they can make improvements, ultimately contributing to their growth and development.

Share Behavioral Feedback Thoughtfully and Regularly

Behavioral feedback focuses on the patterns of behavior and how they impact an individual's effectiveness and interactions with others. It provides a deeper understanding of one's unique strengths, interests, habits, and their influence on their ability to make an impact. Here are some key points to consider when giving behavioral feedback:

1. Identify Themes and Patterns: Look for recurring themes or patterns in the individual's behavior. Observe how they approach tasks, make decisions, collaborate with others, and handle challenges. Identifying these patterns helps you understand their unique strengths and areas for development.

2. Provide Specific Examples: Support your behavioral feedback with specific examples to illustrate your observations. This helps the individual gain a clear understanding of how their behavior is perceived and its impact on others. Specific examples also make the feedback more tangible and actionable.

3. Thoughtful Consideration: Because behavioral feedback is more personal, it's essential to choose your words thoughtfully. Be mindful of the impact your feedback can have on the individual's self-perception. Use language that is constructive, supportive, and encourages growth.

4. Discuss in Person: Behavioral feedback is best delivered in person to allow for open dialogue and a back-and-forth conversation. This gives the recipient an opportunity to ask questions, seek clarification, and engage in a meaningful discussion about their behaviors.

For example: "When people ask you questions about your work, I've noticed that your tone often comes across as defensive. For instance, when Sally left a comment on your code, you replied with 'just trust me.' This response disregarded the substance of her feedback and made you appear less trustworthy. Explaining your thought process and addressing concerns more openly can help build trust and improve collaboration."

"Your recruiting skills are exceptional. Candidates frequently mention that they leave conversations with you feeling more inspired than when they began. You also have a keen sense for suggesting the right people for the right roles. For instance, you identified John for Project X a year ago, and now he's thriving in that role. Your ability to inspire and match talent to opportunities is a valuable asset."

Behavioral feedback provides individuals with insights into how others perceive them and offers an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Although it can be challenging to discuss personal behaviors, when approached thoughtfully and supported by specific examples, it can help individuals gain a deeper understanding of themselves and become more effective in their roles.

Collect 360-Degree Feedback for Maximum Objectivity

360-Degree feedback is a feedback aggregated from multiple perspectives, which means it tends to be a more complete and objective view of how someone is doing. For example, if your report led a brainstorming session, instead of sending just your task-specific feedback, you might collect and share what the rest of the room thought as well. Or if it’s time for your report’s annual performance review, instead of relying on just your own observations, getting behavioral feedback from the handful of colleagues she works closest with will result in better insights.

Many companies run a 360-feedback process once or twice a year. If it’s not formally done, you can gather the feedback yourself. Every quarter, for each report, I send a short email to a handful of his or her closest collaborators asking:

a) What is X doing especially well that X should do more of?, b) What should X change or stop doing?

The thoroughness of 360-degree feedback means that it takes more time to gather, so it’s not practical to do more than a handful of times a year. However, it’s particularly useful when you lack deep context on your report’s day-to-day. Because it’s so comprehensive, you should set up a meeting with your report to discuss the feedback in person, as well as document the learnings in writing so that both of you can refer to it in the future.

Examples:

Your peers give you a lot of props for how you managed the budget crisis. This was important and difficult work, and your calm demeanor, excellent listening skills, and rational arguments helped the team get to a good outcome.

One of the consistent themes from your 360-feedback is that your plans need more rigor. An example is how you left out the edge case of senior discounts in your pricing proposal, which resulted in incorrect projections. This pattern of small errors across your work is starting to undermine your credibility.

Every Major Disappointment Is A Failure To Set Expectations

Setting clear expectations early is crucial to avoid major disappointments and ensure effective communication and performance management. Here are some examples of how setting expectations can preempt future disappointments:

1. Performance Expectations: Clearly define and communicate performance expectations to your team members. Outline what constitutes success and provide specific criteria for evaluating their performance. This allows individuals to align their efforts and understand what is expected of them from the start.

2. Project Milestones and Deadlines: Clearly communicate project milestones, deadlines, and deliverables. Set realistic expectations regarding the timeline and scope of work. This helps team members plan and prioritize their tasks, reducing the risk of missed deadlines or incomplete work.

3. Collaboration and Communication: Establish expectations for collaboration and communication within the team. Clarify how team members should share information, provide updates, and seek assistance. This ensures everyone is on the same page and fosters effective teamwork.

4. Feedback and Performance Reviews: Set expectations for feedback and performance reviews. Regularly provide task-specific feedback to individuals, highlighting both their strengths and areas for improvement. Discuss performance trends and address any concerns in a timely manner rather than waiting for formal reviews.

5. Development and Growth Opportunities: Discuss growth opportunities and career development paths with team members. Set expectations regarding the skills and competencies they need to develop and the support available to help them grow professionally. This promotes a culture of continuous learning and development.

When a person gets the feedback in last minute, he’d have three possible explanations for what happened, none of which are good.

• The review isn’t fair. If things really were so dire, why hasn’t this come up until now? This must be a mistake.
• The review is fair, but my manager was negligent and didn’t realize I was underperforming until the end of the half.
• The review is fair, but my manager wasn’t honest in sharing feedback with me along the way, so I didn’t have a chance to improve.

By setting expectations early and clearly communicating them, you provide individuals with a roadmap for success and avoid surprises or disappointments down the line. It enables open and honest communication, supports individual growth, and enhances overall team performance.

Your Report Has Made It Clear That She Wants a Promotion

You don’t think it’s likely to happen within the next six months. If you wait until the next performance review to tell her, she’ll have spent months wondering if she got the promotion and then be disappointed. Instead, if you say right away, “I understand that you’d like to work toward a promotion, but here are the gaps I’m seeing . . . ,” you’re showing that you want to help her reach her goal. Spell out what your promotion criteria are. Over the next few months, coach her and give her frequent feedback on how she’s doing relative to those expectations. That way, she’ll never have to wonder.

You’ve Just Assigned a Challenging New Project to Your Report

When assigning a challenging new project to your report, it's important to balance your involvement and avoid making them feel disempowered. Setting clear expectations can help address this issue and ensure effective project management. Here's how you can handle the situation:

1. Communicate Your Involvement: At the beginning of the project, discuss with your report how you plan to be involved. Clearly state your intention to review the work twice a week and address the most critical problems together. Specify which decisions you expect to make and which ones they should handle. This sets a framework for collaboration and avoids surprises or micromanagement.

2. Avoid Swooping and Pooping: Be mindful of how you provide feedback and introduce new requirements. Rather than popping in unexpectedly and imposing changes, proactively communicate your priorities and preferred engagement style. When you establish clear expectations and communicate your intentions, you reduce the likelihood of tensions arising between you and your report.

3. Encourage Open Communication: Create a culture where your report feels comfortable sharing concerns or challenges with you early on. Express that you value transparency and want to be informed as soon as possible about any issues or risks that may affect the project's success. By setting this expectation, you encourage open dialogue and collaboration.

4. Embrace Early Feedback: When your team realizes that they may not meet a goal or deadline, encourage them to share this information with you promptly. Make it clear that you prefer early notification over finding out later when more resources and plans may have been wasted. This allows you to explore alternative options, make necessary adjustments, and avoid further setbacks.

5. Readjust Expectations: Recognize that failures and missed deadlines can happen despite everyone's best efforts. When faced with disappointments, focus on readjusting expectations as quickly as possible. This demonstrates flexibility, empathy, and a willingness to address issues proactively. By adapting to new circumstances, you foster a culture of learning and growth within your team.

Remember, setting clear expectations and maintaining open communication channels are key to effective project management and avoiding major disappointments. Regularly assess your own communication and management practices, and strive to improve by learning from past experiences.

Your Feedback Only Counts If It Makes Things Better

I had noticed that one of my team members, Amy, had been displaying low output and engaging in unrelated personal tasks at her desk. Realizing the need for a serious conversation, I took a week to prepare. I wrote down my talking points, sought advice from a colleague, and rehearsed the discussion. When the time came, I delivered the feedback clearly, feeling relieved afterward.

However, a few days later, another colleague approached me privately to discuss Amy. They mentioned that Amy felt I was overstepping and micromanaging her time, citing my comment about not allowing lunch breaks or internet browsing at work. I was taken aback because my intention was to address her low productivity, not restrict her actions. I had mentioned the long lunches and non-work activity as part of a broader assessment of her motivation. The core message was about her output, and it wasn't meant to be interpreted as absolute restrictions.

Communication is complex, and what we intend to say may not always align with what the listener hears. Factors like saying too much or too little, body language, and confirmation bias can contribute to misunderstandings. Ed Batista, an executive coach, explains that feedback often triggers a threat response in recipients, impairing their ability to process information and respond thoughtfully.

Crucial Conversation

To ensure that feedback is effectively received, it's crucial to create a safe environment and demonstrate genuine care for the person's success. Positive feedback is particularly powerful, as it reinforces desired behavior without being threatening. When providing critical feedback, approach it with curiosity and a sincere desire to understand the other person's perspective. Directly state your point and follow up with questions like, "Does this feedback resonate with you? Why or why not?" This encourages acknowledgement and reflection, increasing the likelihood of the feedback being absorbed.

After a conversation, when unsure if the message has been heard, there are several strategies to employ.

1. Verbal confirmation, asking for takeaways and next steps, can help ensure alignment.
2. Summarizing the discussion in an email provides a written record for reference.
3. Additionally, repetition and multiple sources can reinforce the message.

Dedicated one-on-one discussions on challenging areas of growth and sharing 360-degree feedback can help validate and internalize the feedback. Some managers even remove themselves as intermediaries, allowing direct feedback from others to be heard more clearly and internalized by the recipient.

By employing these strategies and maintaining open lines of communication, we can enhance the effectiveness of our feedback and prevent misinterpretations or missed opportunities for improvement.

Does My Feedback Lead to Positive Action?

When I asked George to simplify his communication, the problem wasn’t that he didn’t hear the message. He did—he just didn’t know what to do with it. As a result, my feedback wasn’t helpful. How do you ensure that your feedback can be acted upon? Remember these three tips.

1. Make your feedback as specific as possible

When I told George, “Your presentation was complicated and people had a hard time understanding it,” I was assuming that his definition of complicated and mine were the same. This is rarely the case, so my feedback ended up sounding vague. Which aspects were complicated? What was said, exactly, that led to people being confused?

Use clear examples that get at the why so it’s easier for the recipient to know what you mean.

You lost the room when you shared seven goals for the review instead of just one or two. It’s hard to remember them all, so the priorities felt unclear. At the end, you showed three different directions for where we could go from here, but you didn’t give us your recommendations or how to think about the pros and cons of each option. As a result, people were confused about the next steps.

2. Clarify what success looks and feels like

Even if your feedback is specific, heard, and understood, it can still be hard for the other person to have a clear picture of what they should aspire to. Some years ago, at a design review, my manager Chris told us that our proposed designs showing a registration form felt too “heavy.” One of the designers in the room suggested that we change the outline stroke of the form field boxes from blue to gray and that we put a little more space between them. “It’ll feel lighter and more breathable,” he said. Chris thought about it. “Think of the lines at Disneyland,” he finally said. “You’re actually waiting in a really long line, but because you’re going from one small room to another, it doesn’t feel like the line is overwhelming. That’s what I’m going for.” Instantly, we had a clear sense of how to improve the flow—break the one long form into a series of smaller ones.

3. Suggest next steps

Often the easiest way to help your report translate your feedback into action is to share what you think the next steps should be. Be clear about whether you’re setting an expectation or merely offering a suggestion. Also, beware of overdoing this—if you’re always dictating what should happen next, you’re not empowering your team to learn to solve problems on their own. A softer approach is to ask your report, “So what do you think the next steps should be?” and let them guide the discussion.

Delivering critical feedback or bad news

Delivering critical feedback or bad news is an important and unavoidable aspect of being a manager. However, the way in which you deliver the message is crucial. There are various ways to convey the same point, such as through the choice of words, tone, or body language. It's essential to avoid using charged language or making personal accusations, as it immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Instead, it's better to deliver the feedback directly and dispassionately, clearly stating the issue, the reasons behind your concern, and how you can work together to resolve it.

Starting the conversation with a long preamble or using a "compliment sandwich" approach (where you sandwich the criticism between two positive statements) is generally ineffective. It can come across as insincere and dilute the impact of the feedback. It's more effective to address the concern directly without excessive sugarcoating. For example, if someone is using their phone in meetings, it's better to say, "Hey, I noticed that when you use your phone in meetings, it's distracting because it suggests that the meeting isn't worth paying attention to. Can we agree to no phones in the future?"

When delivering bad news about a decision, such as not selecting someone for a position or removing them from a project, it's important to own the decision and be firm. Avoid opening it up for discussion if your mind is already made up. While it's natural for your report to have a different opinion, keep in mind that some decisions are yours to make as the manager. Acknowledge the disagreement respectfully but firmly and emphasize the need for cooperation in moving forward.

It's important to remember that people are generally open to receiving feedback and appreciate honesty and directness. Treating others with kid gloves or avoiding giving feedback altogether doesn't benefit anyone. Being able to provide feedback effectively is a sign of respect and helps your team members improve. While mastering the art of feedback is an ongoing process, the satisfaction of helping others grow makes it worthwhile.

Feedback is a gift

It may require time and effort to provide feedback, but it ultimately benefits everyone involved. Therefore, it's important to give feedback generously and help your team members develop valuable skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

5. Managing yourself

Know yourself

After returning to work following maternity leave, the author finds herself overwhelmed and unable to focus. Feeling less capable, she asks her manager for an executive coach and is introduced to Stacy McCarthy. Expecting immediate problem-solving, the author is surprised when Stacy encourages her to take a step back and discuss her personal journey and future aspirations. Stacy eventually presents a comprehensive report about the author, focusing on strengths, weaknesses, and management style. Initially reluctant to confront the report, the author realizes its value in understanding herself and calibrating her internal compass. Recognizing the importance of self-awareness in effective management, the author learns that knowing oneself is crucial for supporting a team. Understanding personal strengths, values, comfort zones, blind spots, and biases helps determine one's true direction.

Everbody feels like an imposter sometimes

Imposter syndrome is a common experience among managers and professionals. The author shares their own encounters with imposter syndrome and highlights that every manager, even experienced ones, has felt this way at some point. Imposter syndrome manifests as a feeling of inadequacy, fearing being exposed as a fraud, and doubting one's abilities. The author emphasizes that feeling like an imposter is normal and acknowledges the challenges and pressures that managers face. Managers are often expected to have all the answers and make difficult decisions, which can intensify imposter syndrome. Additionally, managers frequently encounter unfamiliar situations that require learning on the job. The author emphasizes that management is not an innate skill and success depends on the specific context and ongoing growth.Imposter syndrome can be managed, and upcoming sections will explore techniques to address doubts and discomfort associated with it.

Get Brutaly honest with yourself

Understanding and being brutally honest about your strengths and weaknesses is essential for effective management. The author shares their own self-reflection, highlighting their preferences, skills, and tendencies. They emphasize that these personal qualities directly impact their management style. Additionally, the author acknowledges that their colleagues possess different strengths, and they appreciate the unique abilities of their team members. The analogy of ingredients in a recipe is used to illustrate that different combinations can result in successful outcomes. The author suggests that leaders come in various forms, with diverse personality traits and leadership styles. Recognizing and leveraging one's strengths is emphasized as crucial for effective management. The author mentions popular frameworks like StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath and StandOut by Marcus Buckingham, which can help individuals understand and identify their strengths.

If you want to do a quick version, jot down the first thing that comes to mind when you ask yourself the following questions:

• How would the people who know and like me best (family, significant other, close friends) describe me in three words?
  • MY ANSWER: thoughtful, enthusiastic, driven
• What three qualities do I possess that I am the proudest of?
  • MY ANSWER: curious, reflective, optimistic
• When I look back on something I did that was successful, what personal traits do I give credit to?
  • MY ANSWER: vision, determination, humility
• What are the top three most common pieces of positive feedback that I’ve received from my manager or peers?
  • MY ANSWER: principled, fast learner, long-term thinker

Like mine, your responses will likely cluster around a few themes. Here, you can see that my strengths are dreaming big, learning quickly, and remaining upbeat. Whatever yours are, remember them and hold them dear. You’ll be relying on them time and time again.

The second part of getting to an honest reckoning with yourself is knowing your weaknesses and triggers. Right beneath your list of strengths, answer the following:

• Whenever my worst inner critic sits on my shoulder, what does she yell at me for?
  • MY ANSWER: getting distracted, worrying too much about what others think, not voicing what I believe
• If a magical fairy were to come and bestow on me three gifts I don’t yet have, what would they be?
  • MY ANSWER: bottomless well of confidence, clarity of thought, incredible persuasion
• What are three things that trigger me? (A trigger is a situation that gets me more worked up than it should.)
  • MY ANSWER: sense of injustice, the idea that someone else thinks I’m incompetent, people with inflated egos
• What are the top three most common pieces of feedback from my manager or peers on how I could be more effective?
  • MY ANSWER: be more direct, take more risks, explain things simply

After identifying their strengths and weaknesses, the author acknowledges the importance of calibration, which involves aligning one's self-perception with reality. They recognize that self-perception can fluctuate and be influenced by biases. Calibration is crucial because it allows individuals to understand how they are truly perceived by others, rather than relying solely on their own beliefs. The author emphasizes that it is essential to seek honest and unvarnished opinions from peers in order to develop self-awareness and gain accurate information about oneself. The goal is not to seek praise but to create a safe space for others to provide honest feedback. This process helps individuals confront the truth about themselves and ensures that their self-perception aligns with how others perceive them.

In the same way that you gather feedback for your reports, you can learn about yourself through the following tactics:

Ask your manager to help you calibrate yourself through the following two questions:

• What opportunities do you see for me to do more of what I do well? What do you think are the biggest things holding me back from having greater impact?
• What skills do you think a hypothetical perfect person in my role would have? For each skill, how would you rate me against that ideal on a scale of one to five?

Pick three to seven people whom you work closely with and ask if they’d be willing to share some feedback to help you improve. Even if your company already has a process for 360-degree feedback, it helps to be specific about what you want to know and to provide reassurances that you’re looking for honesty, not just pats on the back. Take the example below.

Hey, I value your feedback and I’d like to be a more effective team member. Would you be willing to answer the questions below? Please be as honest as you can because that’s what will help me the most—I promise nothing you say will offend me. Feedback is a gift, and I’m grateful for your taking the time.

Examples of specific asks:

• in what ways did you see me having impact?
• What do you think I could have done to have more impact?
• With my team, what am I doing well that you’d like to see me do more of?
• What should I stop doing?
• One of the things I’m working on is being more decisive. How do you think I’m doing on that? Any suggestions on how I can do better here?

Ask for task-specific feedback to calibrate yourself on specific skills. For example, if you’re not sure how good of a public speaker you are, follow up with a few people after you give a presentation and say, “I’m hoping to improve my speaking skills. What do you think went well with my presentation? What would have made it twice as good?”

Growth mindset

The importance of seeking feedback and embracing a growth mindset is highlighted in managing self-doubt and personal development. Although asking for feedback can be challenging, it is necessary to overcome the fear of confirming insecurities and to view challenges as opportunities for improvement. A growth mindset, believing that skills can be enhanced through effort, helps break the cycle of anxious self-evaluation. Feedback becomes a valuable tool for learning and development rather than a threat to one's worthiness. The book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck is referenced for its exploration of fixed and growth mindsets and their impact on performance and happiness.

Understand Yourself At Your Best And Worst

Beyond strengths and weaknesses, the next part of understanding yourself is knowing which environments help you to do your best work and which situations trigger a negative reaction. This helps you design your day-to-day to respond to your needs.

Over the years, here’s what I’ve learned about what enables me to be my best:

• I’ve received at least eight hours of sleep the night before.
• I’ve done something productive early in the day, which motivates me to keep the momentum going.
• I know what my desired outcome looks like before I start.
• I have trust and camaraderie with the people I work with.
• I’m able to process information alone (and through writing) before big discussions or decisions.
• I feel like I’m learning and growing.

Once I understood those facts, I was able to change a few habits to make it easier for me to operate in my ideal environment. Here are some examples:

• I set up multiple “prepare for bed” alarms at 10:00 p.m., 10:15 p.m., and 10:30 p.m. so that my head can hit the pillow at 11:00 p.m. sharp.
• I exercise for ten to fifteen minutes in the morning right after I wake up. It’s not much, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment that anchors the rest of the day.
• I schedule half an hour of “daily prep” into my calendar so I can study my day and visualize how I want each meeting or work task to go.
• I make an effort to become friends with my colleagues and learn about their lives outside of work.
• I schedule “thinking time” blocks on my calendar so I can sort through and write down my thoughts on big problems.

Developing personal habits and routines can contribute to a greater sense of control and improved productivity. While these habits may not guarantee a perfect outcome, they make a noticeable difference in work and thinking abilities. Each person has their own preferences and strategies for optimizing their productivity. For example, some individuals are morning people and find that tackling challenging tasks during their most productive hours yields better results. Others prioritize minimizing context switching by arranging their schedule to have concentrated blocks of uninterrupted time. These variations highlight the importance of finding what works best for oneself in order to enhance productivity and work effectiveness.

If you’re not sure what your ideal environment looks like, ask yourself the following:

• Which six-month period of my life did I feel the most energetic and productive? What gave me that energy?
• In the past month, what moments stand out as highlights? What conditions enabled those moments to happen, and are they re-creatable?
• In the past week, when was I in a state of deep focus? How did I get there?

Understanding your triggers

Understanding your triggers, which are situations that have an exaggerated negative impact on your effectiveness, is crucial for maintaining composure and rationality in challenging moments. Triggers are personal and can vary from person to person, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and recognizing when these triggers are at play. By identifying your triggers, you can take a step back, regain composure, and respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. Sharing triggers with others can also foster better understanding and communication within a team, as individuals may not be aware of how their behavior affects others. Providing feedback about triggers can lead to positive changes in behavior and promote a more productive and harmonious work environment. Examples of triggers can range from a sense of injustice, arrogance, perfectionism, aggressive communication, or delayed responses from team members. Addressing triggers requires both personal growth in managing reactions and the potential for others to benefit from understanding and adjusting their behaviors based on feedback.

To figure out what your triggers are, ask yourself the following questions:

• When was the last time someone said something that annoyed me more than it did others around me? Why did I feel so strongly about it?
• What would my closest friends say my pet peeves are?
• Who have I met that I’ve immediately been wary of? What made me feel that way?
• What’s an example of a time when I’ve overreacted and later regretted it? What made me so worked up in that moment?

Knowing what lifts you up or brings you down is enormously valuable. Like how athletes have structured diet and exercise regimens to keep them competing in peak condition, the work you do to help yourself operate at your best will lead to many more winning days on the job.

Finding Your Confidence When You’re In The Pit

When faced with the imposter syndrome and feeling stuck in a deep pit of self-doubt, it is essential to find ways to regain your confidence and manage your mental state. The Pit is a metaphorical place where doubt and fear consume you, making decision-making and progress difficult.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up for Feeling Bad

When you find yourself in the Pit, it's important not to beat yourself up or feel guilty for struggling. This self-criticism only adds unnecessary stress to your already challenging situation. Instead, consider the following strategies to alleviate the burden:

Two tactics that help:

1. The first is conjuring up a public figure you admire, someone who seems to have the perfect life, and Googling “[person’s name] struggle.” There is always a story. It’s a good reminder that being in the Pit is universal.
2. The second tactic is to admit that you’re feeling bad. I’ll take out a Post-it note and write, “I am super stressed out about X.” That little act shifts my mindset from worrying about my worries to simply declaring them. Once I do that, I can start to make progress on addressing the root cause.

Repeat After Me: “The Story I Have in My Head Is Probably Irrational”

Our brains are wired to take shortcuts and construct narratives based on limited information, leading to biased perceptions and irrational stories. When we're in the Pit, our narratives tend to be worst-case scenarios, assuming the worst about ourselves and others.

For example, if you weren't invited to a meeting while struggling with imposter syndrome, you might conclude that your teammates don't value you. However, more often than not, the reality is quite different. When investigated, the reasons for exclusion typically revolve around considerations like not wanting to waste your time or assuming you may not be interested in the topic.

The stories we tell ourselves based on limited evidence are often incorrect, especially when we're in a negative mindset. It's crucial to step back and question our interpretations. Are there alternative perspectives we're not considering? How can we seek out the truth?

Instead of speculating and spinning disaster scenarios in our heads, it's better to confront reality. Asking direct questions like, "Why wasn't I invited to that meeting?" can provide clarification and dispel unfounded assumptions. Even if we fear the answer, facing the truth is always preferable to dwelling in our irrational narratives.

Close Your Eyes and Visualize

Visualization is a technique that can provide benefits similar to actual practice by engaging the same parts of our brain. By picturing ourselves performing an activity, we can trick our minds into experiencing some of the positive effects.

Studies have shown the power of visualization in various domains. For example, basketball players who visualized making free throws achieved comparable results to those who physically practiced. Similarly, individuals who imagined themselves working out had significant strength gains, although not as much as those who physically exercised.

Visualization can also help boost confidence when we're in the Pit. Here are some exercises to try:

1. Imagine that the anxiety, fear, and confusion you're feeling are universal experiences shared by everyone. Consider examples of successful individuals who have faced similar doubts and fears. Recognize that these emotions are part of being human.

2. Visualize yourself succeeding in a situation that makes you nervous. Create a detailed mental scene of the desired outcome, such as confidently delivering a presentation and engaging the audience. Make the visualization as specific as possible.

3. Recall a past challenge that you conquered successfully. Step through the entire experience in vivid detail, from the initial daunting feeling to your approach and the ultimate sense of accomplishment. Immerse yourself in the memory and relish the pride and confidence you gained.

4. Imagine being in a room surrounded by your favorite people, as they express their love and admiration for you. Picture them taking turns expressing their affection and appreciation. Recall moments of warmth and support, such as speeches from loved ones at your wedding.

5. Visualize your ideal day outside the Pit. Close your eyes and go through each hour of your calendar, focusing on the mental state you want to embody. Envision yourself feeling energetic during your morning workout, satisfied after a nourishing breakfast, and engaged and friendly as you interact with others.

Visualization is a simple yet powerful tool that can be practiced in just a few minutes of quiet relaxation. Cultivate this habit to boost your self-assurance and navigate whatever challenges come your way.

Asking for Help from People You Can Be Real With

When we find ourselves in the Pit, it's common to put on a facade and keep our struggles to ourselves, thinking that we need to "fake it till we make it." However, this approach deprives us of the relief that comes from sharing our fears with trusted individuals and receiving their empathy and guidance.

Admitting our struggles and reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness; instead, it demonstrates courage and self-awareness. It shows that we prioritize our well-being over our ego. When others understand and empathize with our challenges, it can have a tremendous positive impact. Research even suggests that support groups, including those for serious mental health conditions, can be remarkably effective. For example, self-help groups have shown to help 82 percent of individuals with manic-depressive disorder cope better with their illness.

I have personally experienced the power of seeking support. A few years ago, I formed a Lean In Circle with a group of women at my company. During our monthly meetings, we would each share the difficulties we were facing—challenging relationships, career uncertainties, struggles to balance parenthood and work. Tears were not uncommon because some challenges were genuinely tough. However, the warmth, camaraderie, and support we provided one another were unforgettable. We offered help, advice, hugs, and compassionate listening whenever possible.

Whether it's your family, best friend, a coach, or a group of trusted colleagues, seek out your support network. They can serve as your cheerleaders and sounding board. Remember, no one can go through life alone, and our community can illuminate the path and extend a helping hand as we climb out of the Pit.

Celebrate the Little Wins

When we find ourselves in the Pit, it's easy to focus on our failures and question our abilities. However, we can break free from this negative cycle by changing the story we tell ourselves. Instead of fixating on what we're not doing well, we can shift our attention to all the ways we are winning.

I experienced this firsthand during a challenging period at work. I expressed to a colleague how overwhelmed I felt, constantly struggling to keep up with the projects requiring design leadership. She reminded me that amidst the difficulties, not everything I was doing was a failure. In fact, she shared how one of my recent blog posts had deeply resonated with her and her entire team. Her words had a significant impact on me, making me realize that I had started to undervalue my writing and other responsibilities, viewing them as routine rather than valuable contributions.

Inspired by that conversation, I started a journal called "Little Wins." Each day, I would jot down something I did that I was proud of, no matter how small. It could be successfully providing helpful advice during a 1:1 session, running a productive meeting, or simply responding promptly to emails on a tough day. By acknowledging and celebrating these little victories, I began to shift my perspective and build my confidence.

Research shows that writing down five things you're grateful for each night can lead to long-term happiness. Similarly, when you need to boost your confidence, remember to focus on all the things you are doing well. Keep track of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrating these little wins can help counterbalance the negative self-talk and remind you of your strengths and achievements.

Practice Self-Care by Establishing Boundaries

Block your calenders for Self-care

When work becomes overwhelming, it tends to spill over into other aspects of our lives. We may find ourselves working late nights and weekends or constantly preoccupied with our to-do lists, even when we should be resting. However, it is crucial to resist this urge and establish boundaries that allow us to prioritize other important areas of our lives.

Setting boundaries means carving out dedicated time for activities that bring us joy and fulfillment, such as spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, exercising, or engaging in community service. Numerous studies have shown that high workplace stress inhibits creativity, whereas a more positive mindset enhances it. Teresa Amabile, a professor at Harvard Business School and author of The Progress Principle, highlights the correlation between positivity and creativity.

During my busiest periods, I rely on a simple exercise of scheduling a fifteen-minute activity at the beginning and end of each day that has nothing to do with work. This could involve watching a TED Talk, playing a game on my phone, doing a crossword puzzle, exercising, or reading. Though it may not seem like much time, it serves as a clear boundary that reminds me to always prioritize some time for myself, regardless of the workload.

Taking care of yourself is essential because you can't produce your best work if you don't feel your best physically and mentally. Prioritizing self-care is always worthwhile. By establishing boundaries and making time for activities that bring you joy and rejuvenation, you'll maintain a healthier work-life balance and enhance your overall well-being. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary for sustained success and happiness.

Learning To Be Twice As Good

To learn to be twice as good in your professional journey, you can maximize your learning through the following approaches:

1. Embrace deliberate practice: Just like in the example of public speaking, improvement comes with practice. Identify specific areas where you want to excel and make a conscious effort to practice and refine those skills. Break down complex tasks into smaller, manageable components and focus on improving each one.

2. Seek feedback: Actively seek feedback from colleagues, mentors, or supervisors. Their insights can provide valuable guidance on areas where you can improve. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth.

3. Learn from others: Observe successful individuals in your field and learn from their expertise. Study their strategies, techniques, and approaches. Look for mentors or role models who can offer guidance and share their experiences.

4. Continuously learn and adapt: Stay curious and committed to learning. Seek out opportunities for professional development, whether it's attending workshops, conferences, or online courses. Stay up to date with industry trends and best practices. Be adaptable and willing to embrace new technologies and approaches.

5. Take risks and embrace challenges: Push yourself out of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. Embrace opportunities that stretch your skills and capabilities. Even if you feel uncertain or uncomfortable, remember that growth often happens outside of your comfort zone.

6. Reflect and iterate: Regularly reflect on your experiences and learnings. Identify areas of improvement and make adjustments accordingly. Celebrate your successes, but also learn from your failures or setbacks. Use each experience as an opportunity for growth and development.

7. Build a strong network: Surround yourself with a supportive network of peers and professionals who can provide guidance, support, and opportunities for collaboration. Engage in meaningful discussions, share knowledge, and learn from others' perspectives.

Remember, the journey of improvement is unique to each individual. Focus on your own strengths, growth areas, and goals. Set ambitious targets for yourself and commit to continuous learning and improvement. With time, practice, and dedication, you can become twice as good in your chosen field.

Ask for Feedback

Asking for feedback is indeed crucial for self-improvement and growth. Here are some considerations and suggestions for effectively seeking feedback:

1. Be specific: When asking for feedback, be clear about what aspect or area you would like feedback on. Specific questions allow others to provide actionable insights. For example, instead of asking, "How was my presentation?" you can ask, "Did my main points come across clearly in the first few minutes? How can I improve clarity?"

2. Create a safe and open environment: Foster an environment where people feel comfortable providing honest feedback. Assure them that their opinions are valued and that you are open to constructive criticism. Encourage open dialogue and assure them that their feedback will be received with gratitude and without defensiveness.

3. Seek feedback from diverse perspectives: Request feedback from a variety of sources, including colleagues, mentors, supervisors, and even those who may have different viewpoints or backgrounds. Multiple perspectives can provide a well-rounded understanding of your strengths and areas for improvement.

4. Actively listen and be receptive: When receiving feedback, actively listen without interrupting or becoming defensive. Maintain an open mind and a willingness to understand others' perspectives. Avoid taking feedback personally and instead view it as an opportunity for growth.

5. Express gratitude: Always express gratitude for the feedback you receive, regardless of whether you agree with it or not. Recognize the effort and courage it takes for others to provide feedback. Show appreciation for their insights and let them know that their feedback is valuable to you.

6. Reflect and take action: After receiving feedback, take the time to reflect on the insights you've gained. Consider how you can apply the feedback to improve your performance or behavior. Identify specific actions or changes you can make and implement them in your work or interactions.

7. Follow up and show progress: If appropriate, follow up with the individuals who provided feedback to show that you have taken their insights seriously and made an effort to improve. Demonstrating growth and progress can reinforce their willingness to continue providing feedback in the future.

Remember, feedback is a gift that can contribute to your personal and professional development. Embrace it with humility, openness, and a genuine desire to grow. By actively seeking feedback and using it to make positive changes, you can continuously improve and reach your full potential.

Treat Your Manager as a Coach

Building a strong relationship with your manager and treating them as a coach can greatly contribute to your growth and development. Here are some tips on how to leverage your manager's support:

1. Shift your mindset: Change your perspective on the role of your manager. Instead of seeing them as a judge or authority figure, view them as a valuable resource and ally in your professional journey. Recognize that their success is tied to your success, and they have a vested interest in helping you thrive.

2. Seek feedback: Actively ask for feedback from your manager on your performance and areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Regularly check in with your manager to discuss your progress, set goals, and identify areas where you can develop new skills.

3. Share your goals and aspirations: Clearly communicate your career goals and aspirations with your manager. Discuss the skills and experiences you want to develop and seek their guidance on how to achieve them. By sharing your ambitions, you enable your manager to provide targeted support and guidance tailored to your professional growth.

4. Engage in open dialogue: Use your 1:1 meetings as a dedicated space for learning and discussion. Come prepared with specific questions or topics you'd like to explore. Ask for your manager's insights, advice, and strategies based on their expertise and experience. Be an active listener and take note of the valuable knowledge they can impart.

5. Share challenges and seek advice: Don't hesitate to share the challenges or difficult decisions you're facing in your work. Your manager can provide guidance, share their perspective, and help you navigate through complex situations. Seek their advice on problem-solving or brainstorming ideas for better outcomes.

6. Learn from their experiences: Tap into your manager's expertise and learn from their experiences. Ask about their decision-making process, approaches to leadership, or how they handle specific situations. Their insights can provide valuable lessons and expand your own knowledge base.

Remember, building a strong coaching relationship with your manager requires active participation and open communication from both sides. Take initiative in seeking guidance and be receptive to their support and feedback. Together, you can create a dynamic partnership that fosters your professional growth and success.

Make a Mentor Out of Everyone

Expanding your learning network beyond formal mentorship can be incredibly valuable. Here are some tips on how to make a mentor out of everyone:

1. Look for expertise: Identify individuals around you who excel in specific areas or possess skills you admire. They can be colleagues, peers, or even subordinates. Recognize that everyone has something to teach, regardless of their role or seniority.

2. Be specific in your requests: Instead of asking someone to be your mentor, ask for specific advice or insights related to their expertise. Be clear about what you want to learn or improve upon. By making targeted requests, you make it easier for others to help and share their knowledge.

3. Tap into your peer group: Connect with people who have similar roles or responsibilities as yours. They can provide a supportive community where you can exchange ideas, discuss challenges, and offer guidance to one another. Regular meetups or informal gatherings can facilitate these conversations.

4. Ask questions and seek advice: Approach individuals whose skills or experiences you admire and express your interest in learning from them. Ask questions about their approach, techniques, or strategies. Be open and receptive to their insights and advice. Remember to show genuine appreciation for their time and expertise.

5. Be observant and learn from others: Pay attention to the strengths and talents of those around you. Observe how they tackle tasks, solve problems, or communicate effectively. Emulate their successful practices and adapt them to your own style.

6. Offer reciprocal value: Mentoring and learning relationships should be mutually beneficial. Find ways to contribute and provide value to those who are sharing their knowledge with you. It can be through sharing your own expertise, assisting with their projects, or simply being a supportive listener.

7. Respect their time and boundaries: Understand that not everyone may have the availability or inclination to mentor you formally or extensively. Be considerate of their time constraints and limitations. If someone declines your request for guidance, graciously accept their response and express your gratitude for their consideration.

Remember, mentorship can come in various forms, and learning opportunities are all around you. Stay curious, be proactive in seeking guidance, and appreciate the insights and expertise others are willing to share. Embrace the concept of making a mentor out of everyone and cultivate a culture of continuous learning and growth.

Set Aside Time to Reflect and Set Goals

Weekly Reflection:

• Accomplishments: List the tasks, projects, or milestones you achieved during the week. Celebrate the progress you made and acknowledge your efforts.
• Satisfaction/Dissatisfaction: Reflect on how satisfied you feel with your work. Identify any areas where you may have felt dissatisfied or encountered challenges.
• Takeaways: Consider the lessons learned from the week's experiences. What insights, skills, or knowledge have you gained? How can you apply these lessons moving forward?

Six-Month Look-Back:

• Progress: Reflect on the major accomplishments and milestones you achieved over the past six months. Take note of the growth and progress you've made.
• Lessons Learned: Identify the most significant lessons you learned during this period. What challenges did you overcome? What skills or competencies have you developed?
• Set New Goals: Based on your reflections, establish new goals for the upcoming months. Consider both professional and personal aspirations. What skills or areas do you want to focus on improving? What projects or initiatives do you want to undertake?

Remember, the format and content of your reflection notes should align with your preferences and needs. Find a method that works best for you, whether it's writing in a journal, using a digital document, or sharing with your team. The key is to create dedicated time for reflection, gain insights from your experiences, and set goals to guide your future growth and development.

Examples

Thoughts On My Week:

• Recent feedback I heard: Through my Q&As, I’m hearing a lot of praise for our design team culture, which is awesome. On what we could be doing better, the top theme was clarifying expectations for career growth. I’m taking away that we need to get more buttoned-up on how we talk about assessing performance and promotions.

• Recruiting for next year: In our planning meeting, remote office growth came up as a big theme. We will need to train more interviewers and make sure our debriefs are consistent across offices. I’m counting on all of us to be heavily involved, and we’re getting a plan together for what that looks like.

• Strategy for Project X: I worked with Team Y to prepare our proposals for the upcoming review. This came a long way in a few short weeks—shout-out to Elena in particular for her great work here.

• Understanding research needs: In my 1:1s, I’ve been hearing asks for more research involvement. I have a better sense of what we’re looking for now, and David and I will share a staffing plan in the next two weeks.

Goals For The Next Six Months:

• Build out my bench: Fill three open roles to ensure that every product has a strong leader.
• Evolve all product reviews to start with clearly defined people problems so we have a common basis for evaluation.
• Become an expert in hiring great research leaders.
• Get rid of status updates in my 1:1s: Use that time to have deeper conversations with my reports.
• Don’t bring work home with me: Focus on being more efficient in the office.

Take Advantage of Formal Training

Formal training is a valuable opportunity to enhance your skills and knowledge as a manager. Here are some key points to consider and embrace when it comes to taking advantage of formal training:

1. Recognize the value: While formal training may not always feel urgent or necessary, it can have a significant impact on your effectiveness as a manager. Investing time and money in training can lead to improved efficiency, increased competence, and better outcomes for you and your team.

2. Prioritize learning: Even amid a busy schedule, it's important to make learning a priority. Evaluate the potential return on investment of a training opportunity. Consider how even a small improvement in your skills can yield long-term benefits.

3. Reflect on past experiences: Recall the transformative power of previous training experiences. Think about specific instances where a training session or workshop had a lasting impact on your approach or mindset. This reflection can help motivate you to seek out further opportunities for growth.

4. Explore professional coaching: In addition to traditional training, consider the benefits of professional coaching. Working with a coach can provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your individual needs and goals. While it may require a financial investment, the impact on your performance and overall development can be significant.

5. Shift your perspective: Instead of focusing solely on immediate demands and constraints, think about the long-term benefits of formal training. Ask yourself whether you will be happy and satisfied with your decision to invest in training one year from now. Viewing it from this perspective can help clarify the value of such opportunities.

6. Embrace personal growth: Remember that being an effective leader requires continuous learning and self-improvement. Take the time to understand your strengths, weaknesses, and personal values. Learn how to navigate internal obstacles and embrace a growth mindset. By investing in your own development, you can better support and lead your team.

Ultimately, formal training is an investment in yourself and your team's future. Embrace the opportunity to learn, grow, and become the best leader you can be while staying true to your authentic self.

6. Amazing meetings

Leo Tolstoy begins Anna Karenina with the statement “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Meetings are much the same.

On the other hand, good meetings are simple and straightforward. You leave them feeling the same way every time:

• The meeting was a great use of my time.
• I learned something new that will help me be more effective at my job.
• I left with a clearer sense of what I should do next.
• Everyone was engaged.
• I felt welcomed.

What Is A Great Outcome For Your Meeting?

Being crystal clear about the outcome you’re shooting for is the first step to running great meetings.

As Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is fond of saying, “disagree and commit” for the sake of moving forward quickly.

Making a decision

A great decision-making meeting does the following:

• Gets a decision made (obviously)
• Includes the people most directly affected by the decision as well as a clearly designated decision-maker
• Presents all credible options objectively and with relevant background information, and includes the team’s recommendation if there is one
• Gives equal airtime to dissenting opinions and makes people feel that they were heard

Here are some examples of bad outcomes to avoid:

• People feel that their side wasn’t presented well, so they don’t trust the resulting decision.
• Decisions take a long time to make, which delays progress. While important and hard-to-reverse decisions deserve deep consideration, be wary of spending too much time on small, easy-to-reverse decisions.
• Decisions keep flip-flopping back and forth, which makes it hard to trust and act on them.
• Too much time is spent trying to get a group to consensus rather than escalating quickly to a decision-maker.
• Time is wasted on rehashing the same argument twenty different ways.

Sharing Information

Running effective informational meetings is crucial for sharing information and engaging your team. Here are some key points to consider when organizing and conducting informational meetings:

1. Valuable learning: Aim to provide valuable information that the group can learn from. Consider the relevance and impact of the information you're sharing and ensure it aligns with the team's goals and objectives.

2. Clear and memorable messaging: Communicate key messages in a clear and memorable way. Use concise language, compelling visuals, and storytelling techniques to make the information more engaging and easier to remember.

3. Engage the audience: Keep the audience's attention by incorporating elements that make the meeting dynamic and interactive. Encourage questions, facilitate discussions, and create opportunities for the team to provide input or express their reactions. This helps foster a sense of participation and involvement.

4. Compelling delivery: Pay attention to your delivery as a speaker. Maintain eye contact, use expressive body language, and convey your passion and enthusiasm for the topic. A well-delivered message can captivate the audience and make the information more impactful.

5. Emotional connection: Consider the emotional impact you want to achieve with your message. Tailor your delivery to evoke the intended emotions, such as inspiration, trust, pride, courage, empathy, or any other relevant sentiment. This helps create a deeper connection with the audience.

6. Preparation and planning: Invest time in preparing for the informational meeting. Plan the agenda, organize the content in a logical and engaging manner, and rehearse your delivery. A well-prepared meeting demonstrates professionalism and ensures that the content is interesting and effectively communicated.

Remember that the purpose of an informational meeting is to share knowledge, create understanding, and foster engagement. By focusing on delivering valuable content in an engaging and memorable way, you can make these meetings more effective and impactful for your team.

Providing Feedback

Often known as a “review,” the purpose of a feedback meeting is for stakeholders to understand and give input on work in progress. Sometimes, this might end with an uneventful “this looks fine.” Other times, the feedback can result in significant deviations from the plan. It’s tempting to judge success on whether or not the boss likes the work. This is a mistake.

Feedback meetings don’t exist to pass or receive judgment but rather to get to the best outcome.

Gunning for approval creates incentives to focus more on the smoke and mirrors of the presentation than on getting the most helpful feedback to improve the work.

A great feedback meeting achieves the following:

• Gets everyone on the same page about what success for the project looks like
• Honestly represents the current status of the work, including an assessment of how things are going, any changes since the last check-in, and what the future plans are
• Clearly frames open questions, key decisions, or known concerns to get the most helpful feedback
• Ends with agreed-upon next steps (including when the next milestone or check-in will be)

Generating Ideas

Brainstorm to focus on maximizing the quantity of ideas and withholding judgment of those ideas.

The best idea generation comes from understanding that

• we need both time to think alone (because our brains are most creative when we’re by ourselves) and
• time to engage with others (because hearing different perspectives creates sparks that lead to even better ideas).

Preparation and good facilitation is key. A great generative meeting does the following:

• Produces many diverse, nonobvious solutions through ensuring each participant has quiet alone time to think of ideas and write them down (either before or during the meeting)
• Considers the totality of ideas from everyone, not just the loudest voices
• Helps ideas evolve and build off each other through meaningful discussion
• Ends with clear next steps for how to turn ideas into action

Strengthening relationships

When it comes to strengthening relationships within a team, it's important to create opportunities for empathy, trust-building, and collaboration. Here are some strategies to nurture relationships through meetings:

1. Social events: Organize team lunches, dinners, or other social activities that allow team members to interact in a relaxed and informal setting. These events provide an opportunity for colleagues to get to know each other on a personal level, share stories, and build connections beyond work-related tasks.

2. 1:1 meetings: Schedule regular one-on-one meetings with team members to have focused conversations and build individual relationships. Use this time to understand their goals, challenges, and personal aspirations. Show genuine interest and provide support where needed.

3. Team meetings: Dedicate time within team meetings for activities that promote team bonding. This can include sharing personal updates, celebrating achievements, or engaging in team-building exercises. By creating a space for open and authentic communication, team members will feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts and ideas.

4. Clarify meeting purposes: Clearly define the objectives and intentions of each meeting. Communicate the primary purpose to participants and remind them when the discussion starts to deviate. By maintaining focus and staying on track, you respect everyone's time and ensure that the meeting serves its intended purpose.

5. Foster psychological safety: Create an environment where team members feel safe to share their thoughts, opinions, and concerns without fear of judgment or reprisal. Encourage open dialogue, active listening, and respectful communication. When people feel valued and heard, it strengthens the bonds within the team.

6. Respect time and efficiency: Practice efficient meeting management by setting clear agendas, sticking to time limits, and avoiding unnecessary tangents. Show respect for everyone's time by being well-prepared and ensuring that meetings start and end on time.

Remember, the goal of strengthening relationships through meetings is to foster better understanding, trust, and camaraderie among team members. By providing dedicated time for relationship-building activities and maintaining clarity and efficiency, you can create a positive and supportive team environment.

Inviting right people

To ensure a productive meeting, invite the right people and exclude those who are unnecessary. Consider who is essential for achieving the desired outcome of the meeting. Include stakeholders who are directly affected by the decisions being made to ensure fair and informed discussions.

While different opinions may arise regarding the attendee list, prioritize the meeting's primary goal. Evaluate whether the presence of additional participants hinders the meeting's effectiveness. In a case where a design review meeting became crowded, the decision was made to reduce the attendee list. This allowed for more focused feedback and a less formal, high-pressure atmosphere. Alternative methods for education and relationship-building were explored to address the concerns raised by excluding some participants.

By inviting the right people and optimizing the attendee list, meetings can become more efficient, focused, and effective in achieving their intended purpose.

Give People A Chance To Come Prepared

To enhance meeting effectiveness, provide participants with the opportunity to come prepared. Recognize that individuals need time to process information and avoid the cognitive bias known as "the curse of knowledge," where presenters assume everyone understands the content as well as they do. Sending presentations or documents in advance allows attendees to review and comprehend the material beforehand, enabling more thoughtful contributions and decision-making during the meeting.

Sharing an agenda ahead of time demonstrates a commitment to focus and intentionality. This practice is valuable for meetings of any size, and the larger the gathering, the more crucial the preparation becomes. While it requires effort, consider the potential costs of unproductive meetings and the significant impact of well-spent time.

After the meeting, treat follow-ups with equal care. Ensure that agreements, decisions, and action items are communicated clearly to the relevant individuals. Send a recap to attendees, summarizing the discussion and outlining specific next steps, responsible parties, and the timeline for the next check-in. These follow-ups provide continuity and serve as a foundation for future discussions and progress.

Make It Safe For People To Contribute

To encourage active participation and overcome the silence of quieter individuals in meetings, it's essential to create a safe and supportive environment. When people feel comfortable and nonjudgmental, they are more likely to contribute their thoughts and opinions. Foster an atmosphere where everyone's input is valued and encouraged.

Here are some strategies to foster a welcoming environment:

1. Lead by example: Be open, vulnerable, and willing to share your own ideas and perspectives. This sets a positive tone and encourages others to do the same.

2. Prompt participation: Directly invite quieter individuals to share their thoughts or ask for their opinions on specific topics. Make them feel included and valued in the conversation.

3. Active listening: Demonstrate genuine interest in what others have to say. Pay attention, engage, and provide feedback to validate their contributions.

4. Embrace diverse viewpoints: Encourage healthy discussions, debates, and dissent. Create space for different perspectives and ensure that everyone feels respected, even when there are disagreements.

5. Establish psychological safety: Assure participants that their ideas and opinions will be received with respect and that mistakes or unconventional thoughts are welcomed as learning opportunities.

By implementing these strategies, you can create an environment where everyone feels empowered to contribute their insights, fostering a richer and more inclusive meeting experience.

Be Explicit about the Norms You Want to Set

Title: Setting the Norm for Open Communication

To encourage open participation and address any reluctance to ask challenging questions, it's important to explicitly communicate the norms you want to establish in your meetings. By setting the expectation that hard questions are valued and encouraged, you create an environment where people feel more comfortable speaking up and expressing their concerns.

Consider the following approach to encourage open communication:

1. Acknowledge the Lack of Participation: Address the issue directly and express your desire to hear people's genuine concerns and questions.

2. Emphasize the Importance of Transparency: Communicate your commitment to transparency and assure participants that you will provide honest and straightforward answers.

3. Encourage Hard Questions: Explicitly encourage attendees to ask challenging or difficult questions, emphasizing that it contributes to meaningful discussions and team growth.

By openly addressing the need for open and honest dialogue, you can create an atmosphere where participants feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts and engaging in productive discussions.

Change Up Your Meeting Format to Favor Participation

To overcome challenges with participant engagement and dominance, consider implementing structured meeting formats. For instance, you can go around the room and ask each person for their opinion on a decision, ensuring all perspectives are heard. Another effective tactic is the "Post-it note" opening, where participants write down their thoughts on a complex topic and later discuss them as a group. This approach encourages everyone to contribute and lowers the barrier to participation.

Manage equal airtime in meetings and ensure everyone's voice is heard

1. Watch for interruptions and provide cover for those who are interrupted, ensuring they have a chance to finish their point.
2. Create openings for individuals who are seeking to contribute by acknowledging their desire to speak.
3. Use directed questions to invite specific individuals to share their thoughts and opinions.
4. Address overtalkers politely but firmly, reminding them to allow others to participate and ensuring a variety of viewpoints are heard.

Taking these actions demonstrates a commitment to valuing diverse perspectives and ultimately leads to better outcomes in meetings.

Get Feedback about your meeting

1. Develop a habit of actively seeking feedback, particularly for recurring meetings or those involving a larger audience.
2. Be specific about the aspects you want feedback on and create a safe environment for honest opinions.
3. Signal that criticism is welcome by addressing potential issues upfront.
4. For example, ask for feedback on the usefulness of a recurring meeting, sharing your goal and concerns about it being overly detailed.
5. Reflect on your best meeting experiences, which are characterized by a friendly, curious atmosphere, absence of tension or pressure, and a sense of appreciation for everyone's presence and contributions.
6. Strive to create meetings that embody these positive qualities.

By actively seeking feedback and fostering a positive meeting environment, you can improve the effectiveness and engagement of your meetings.

Some Meetings Don’t Need You And Some Don’t Need To Exist At All

As a manager, your time is precious and finite, so guard it like a dragon guards its treasure stash. If you trust that the right outcomes will happen without you, then you don’t need to be there.

Analyzing meeting schedules is crucial for maximizing productivity and work-life balance. Many meetings are often attended without meaningful contribution, resulting in time wasted. By evaluating the necessity of each meeting and requesting notes for updates, one can eliminate unnecessary attendance and focus on important priorities. Protecting time as a manager and attending only valuable meetings is essential. Identifying and improving or canceling meetings that lack value can enhance team performance and employee well-being. Providing feedback on questionable meetings helps optimize their effectiveness. Overall, aiming for useful, energizing meetings fosters better outcomes and team collaboration.

When you want to stay in the loop about relevant decisions, ask the meeting organizers to include you on pre- & post-meeting notes.

7. Hiring Well

Effective hiring plays a pivotal role in building a successful organization. It's not just about filling positions, but an opportunity to shape the future and outcomes of your team. A single great hire can make a substantial difference.

Approaching hiring as an opportunity rather than a problem to be solved is crucial. It's about finding exceptional individuals who not only contribute their skills but also inspire, support, and enhance the overall work environment. Hiring well requires effort and patience, as it may involve meeting numerous candidates before finding the right fit.

In this chapter, we explore strategies for building a great team and highlight the importance of hiring for long-term success.

Hiring Is Your Responsibility

Title: Taking Ownership of the Hiring Process

As a hiring manager, it is essential to recognize that the responsibility for building your team ultimately lies with you. While recruiting teams can assist, no one knows the ideal candidate for your team better than you do. Building a strong partnership with recruiters is crucial for identifying, interviewing, and closing the best individuals.

Describe Your Ideal Candidate as Precisely as You Can

Clearly describe your ideal candidate in the job description, being specific about the required skills and experiences.

Sourcing Strategy

Collaborate with recruiters to develop a sourcing strategy, identifying potential candidates through LinkedIn, recommendations, conferences, or targeted ads. Consider unconventional patterns or keywords that may lead to exceptional candidates.

Deliver Amazing Interview experience

Providing an exceptional interview experience is key. Establish a close manager-recruiter relationship to ensure a focused, attentive, and efficient process. Avoid common mistakes by maintaining clear communication and personalized interactions with candidates.

Show Candidates How Much You Want Them

When extending an offer, demonstrate your enthusiasm and desire for the candidate to join your team. Promptly communicate, address any questions, and express your excitement about their potential impact. Your involvement becomes increasingly crucial for senior candidates, as they have multiple options and need to envision their leadership role within your team.

By taking ownership of the hiring process and actively participating in every stage, you can attract and secure top talent for your organization.

Hiring Is A Gamble, But Make Smart Bets

The likelihood of accurately assessing someone's potential as an employee through a few hours of interviews is low. Research conducted by Google revealed a lack of correlation between interviewer ratings and subsequent performance of candidates, indicating that interviews are often an unreliable predictor.

Several factors contribute to the limitations of interviews. First, it is challenging to replicate the actual working environment and complexity of team dynamics within a brief interview. Real-world projects involve multiple individuals and extended periods, making it difficult to gauge a candidate's performance based on a limited problem-solving scenario.

Second, interviewers are influenced by personal biases and initial impressions of what constitutes a "great" candidate. Studies have shown that blind auditions, where evaluators are unable to see the candidates, have led to improved gender diversity in symphony orchestras, highlighting the impact of biases in evaluations.

Lastly, people are capable of significant personal and professional growth and change over time. Skills and performance in college or early career stages may not accurately reflect a candidate's potential or ability to succeed in a different context. Google, for instance, no longer relies on indicators like college GPAs for candidates beyond a few years out of school.

While hiring always carries inherent risks, taking a smart and comprehensive approach can increase the chances of success. Recognizing the limitations of interviews and incorporating additional evaluation methods can provide a more holistic view of a candidate's suitability for a role.

The Power of Trusted Recommendations in Hiring

Trusted recommendations from credible sources can provide valuable insights into a candidate's suitability for a role. When someone with firsthand experience working with an individual vouches for their abilities or warns against their shortcomings, it is wise to take that feedback seriously.

To leverage trusted recommendations effectively, involve your team in the hiring process and ask for their input on ideal candidates. This not only helps generate a starting point for candidate sourcing but also uncovers patterns in skills, companies, or experiences that may be worth exploring further.

References checks play a crucial role in evaluating candidates, and it's important to prioritize them. Personal references can provide valuable information beyond what is conveyed in resumes and interviews. However, it's essential to seek out honest references, even if it requires effort to find individuals who will provide candid feedback. Trusted colleagues within your network can assist in connecting you with reliable mutual connections.

When evaluating references, consider the recency of feedback. People often improve their skills over time, so discount negative feedback that isn't recent. Additionally, while trusted recommendations are valuable, it's important to ensure a diverse pool of candidates by casting a wide net beyond your existing network, aligning with your definition of the ideal candidate for the role.

Look for Passionate Advocates Rather Than Consensus

Avoid weak hires!

During the hiring process, it's important to distinguish between weak hires and candidates who have passionate advocates. Weak hires refer to candidates who may not have any obvious issues, meet the basic requirements, and give satisfactory answers but fail to evoke enthusiasm from interviewers. On the other hand, candidates with passionate advocates are those who may receive mixed reviews but have interviewers who strongly advocate for their hiring.

While weak hires may not necessarily fail or underperform, they are also unlikely to bring significant value to the team. Since every hiring decision involves a level of risk, it is advisable to avoid weak hires. Instead, focus on candidates who have passionate advocates supporting their candidacy. When multiple interviewers who recommend hiring a candidate express a strong desire to work with that individual, it signals that the candidate possesses qualities highly valued by the team.

Opting for candidates with passionate advocates increases the likelihood of adding someone who can make a meaningful impact. These candidates may possess unique skills, perspectives, or qualities that resonate with the team and align with the organization's goals. By betting on candidates with passionate advocates, you increase the chances of hiring individuals who can contribute significantly to the team's success.

In summary, it is crucial to prioritize candidates who have passionate advocates over weak hires. The presence of passionate advocates signifies that the candidate brings something special and highly valued to the table, enhancing the potential for success within the team and the organization as a whole.

Prepare Your Interview Questions Ahead of Time

When conducting interviews, it is essential to come prepared with a set of well-thought-out questions. By doing so, you can ensure that you gather the necessary information and insights about the candidates, rather than relying solely on your impression of them or the flow of the conversation. This approach helps mitigate biases and ensures that you make informed hiring decisions.

Having a clear understanding of the candidates' backgrounds and qualifications is crucial. Familiarize yourself with their resumes, portfolios, or any other relevant materials before the interview. This will enable you to tailor your questions specifically to their experiences and skills.

It is advisable to ask each candidate the same set of questions, especially if multiple individuals are interviewing for the same role. This approach provides a fair and consistent evaluation process, allowing for easier comparison and assessment of candidates.

A case example is highlighted with a candidate named Mason, who initially came across as nervous and timid during the interview. However, by utilizing a prepared set of questions focused on Mason's skills and experiences, valuable insights were gained. The questions aimed to gauge his goal-setting abilities, his approach to overcoming challenges, and his self-awareness regarding strengths and weaknesses, including communication skills.

Despite Mason's initial demeanor, his answers to the prepared questions showcased depth, thoughtfulness, and a strong ability to handle problems effectively. As a result, he was hired and quickly became a top contributor to the team. This example underscores the importance of focusing on the substance of candidates' answers rather than solely relying on first impressions.

In summary, preparing interview questions ahead of time is critical for conducting effective and unbiased interviews. It allows you to delve into candidates' experiences, skills, and problem-solving abilities, enabling a more comprehensive evaluation. By focusing on the substance of candidates' answers, you increase the chances of making informed hiring decisions that align with the needs of the role and the organization.

Only you can decide what questions you should ask, because only you know what you’re looking for. In particular, highly specialized roles deserve specific questions that probe at those skills. But if you’re looking for a starting point on what to ask, these are my favorite all-purpose questions:

• What kinds of challenges are interesting to you and why? Can you describe a favorite project? This tells me what a candidate is passionate about.
• What do you consider your greatest strengths? What would your peers agree are your areas of growth? This question gets both at a candidate’s self-awareness and what his actual strengths and weaknesses might be.
• Imagine yourself in three years. What do you hope will be different about you then compared to now? This lets me understand the candidate’s ambitions as well as how goal oriented and self-reflective she is.
• What was the hardest conflict you’ve had in the past year? How did it end, and what did you learn from the experience? This gives me a sense of how the candidate works with other people and how he approaches conflict.
• What’s something that’s inspired you in your work recently? This sheds light on what the candidate thinks is interesting or valuable.

Reject Anyone Who Exhibits Toxic Behavior

Remember how assholes are the one thing you shouldn’t tolerate on your team? Be on the lookout for warning signs in interviews:

• bad-mouthing past employers (“My last manager was terrible”);
• blaming failures they were associated with on others (“The reason my last project didn’t succeed was because of internal politics”);
• insulting other groups of people (“The sales team were bozos”);
• asking what the company can do for them instead of the reverse (“This feels like a step up for my career”);
• and coming across with high arrogance or low self-awareness (“I was attracted to this position because it seems like you need someone really senior”).

Building a Strong and Diverse Team

Building a successful team involves considering various factors such as hiring for diverse perspectives, recognizing potential, and believing in the recruitment process. Here are some key points to consider:

1. Prioritize Diversity and Different Perspectives: Embrace the belief that diversity, encompassing aspects such as gender, race, work history, and life experiences, leads to better ideas and improved outcomes. Research supports the notion that diverse teams yield higher financial returns and better problem-solving capabilities. Actively seek out candidates who offer different perspectives to foster creativity and avoid biases.

2. Hire People Capable of More: When hiring for knowledge work, consider candidates who possess skills and abilities beyond the immediate requirements of the role. Hiring individuals with the potential to tackle more significant challenges in the future allows for flexibility and scalability within the team. Empower talented individuals to take on additional responsibilities, enabling them to make a more substantial impact.

3. Embrace the Uncertainty of the Hiring Process: Hiring can be a stressful and uncertain process, with no guarantees at each stage. Candidates may not respond, interviews may not go well, or offers may be declined. However, viewing the process as a numbers game, understanding the funnel concept, and recognizing that persistence pays off can alleviate the anxiety. By investing time and effort into recruiting, you increase the chances of finding the right candidate for the role.

4. Learn and Adapt: Building a team is an ongoing learning process. Be open to new perspectives and approaches, even if they initially clash with existing practices. As the team grows, the strengths of each member become evident, and adjustments to workflows and processes may be necessary. Adaptability and the willingness to evolve contribute to the team's success.

5. Foster a Culture of Continuous Improvement: Encourage ongoing professional development and provide opportunities for employees to enhance their skills and knowledge. Invest in training, mentorship programs, and resources that enable team members to thrive and reach their full potential. By prioritizing growth and improvement, you create a team that is constantly evolving and adapting to meet new challenges.

Remember, building a strong and diverse team requires thoughtful consideration, open-mindedness, and a commitment to creating an inclusive and supportive work environment. By embracing these principles, you can assemble a team that brings together unique perspectives, capabilities, and experiences, driving innovation and achieving outstanding results.

Hiring When You Need Five, Ten, Or Hundreds Of People

Hiring at scale is a critical task for rapidly growing companies. Prioritize hiring and dedicate sufficient time and energy to the process.

Trust in the process, invest in strong managers, and adapt your strategies as needed. Leverage networks and referrals, streamline the hiring process, and maintain a focus on attracting top talent to drive long-term success.

Successful Hiring Is All about Diligent Execution

Scaling hiring requires diligent execution and a well-organized recruiting process. Focus on creating an efficient hiring funnel, where each step is streamlined and optimized. Set clear hiring goals for each manager and provide training for interviewers. Continuously improve the process by refining initial emails, hosting events, and asking effective interview questions. Engage the entire team in the hiring effort to ensure successful growth and team development.

Do Your Research When Hiring Leaders

Hiring leaders is a significant investment and requires thorough research to ensure the right fit. Rushing into leadership hires can have disruptive consequences, so it's important to take the time to understand what an ideal candidate looks like. Engage with prospective candidates, even if they're not interested in the position, to learn from their expertise and gain insights into what to look for. Seek input from your team to understand their expectations and involve them in the assessment process. By conducting diligent research, you can make confident hiring decisions that have a positive and lasting impact on your team.

Take the Long View with Top Talent

Building relationships and establishing a positive reputation are crucial in recruiting top talent. Seasoned leaders have multiple options available to them, so they tend to choose opportunities that they are familiar with and consider great. To attract the best people, invest in long-term relationship building by engaging with rising stars in your field through conferences and events. Focus on networking and continuously developing your team's reputation through community participation, contributing to the field, and maintaining a positive image. Even if candidates decline offers initially, it doesn't mean the relationship is lost. Careers are long, and paths may cross again in the future, so maintaining a positive interaction and leaving the door open for future opportunities is important.

Build a Great Bench

Building a strong bench of leaders within your team is essential for effective leadership. A great bench means having capable individuals who can step in and ensure smooth operations even in the leader's absence. It eliminates the single point of failure and allows the team to thrive independently. Developing a strong bench does not diminish a leader's value; instead, it enables them to focus on tackling new challenges and expanding the team's capabilities. By empowering and coaching the team, leaders can multiply their impact. Mark Zuckerberg's example at Facebook demonstrates how a leader's role evolves from being hands-on to focusing on strategic goals and inspiring the team to achieve greater things. A strong bench enables leaders to pursue new opportunities and drive the team's growth.

Create a Culture That Prioritizes Hiring Well

Creating a culture that prioritizes hiring well is crucial as your team grows and the responsibility of hiring becomes shared. While it may feel like losing control, it presents an opportunity to establish a culture that embodies your values and extends beyond your individual influence. Set the tone for hiring by coaching leaders to approach team building with care, dedicating time to connect with exceptional candidates, and consistently communicating the organization's values. Emphasize that building the team is everyone's responsibility, not just one person's. By fostering this culture, you can create a lasting impact and attract remarkable talent. The author shares an example of their monthly design meetings where new employees are introduced by various managers, highlighting the pride and excitement that comes from seeing amazing hires that they didn't directly hire themselves.

8. Making Things Happen

Start With A Concrete Vision

1. The path to success is not a straight line, but rather a process of consistent planning and execution.
2. Process, when done well, helps us execute at our best, learn from mistakes, and make smarter decisions.
3. Start with a concrete vision that is tangible and creates a shared sense of purpose. Define and share a concrete vision for your team that describes what you're collectively trying to achieve.
4. A believable game plan is essential, focusing on the team's strengths, prioritizing important tasks, and defining responsibilities.
5. Break down big goals into smaller, manageable pieces to maintain focus and create a sense of urgency.
6. Clearly define ownership and responsibilities to avoid confusion and ensure accountability.
7. Review progress periodically and adjust plans accordingly, using accountability and prioritization to sustain momentum.
8. The excerpt you shared emphasizes the importance of execution over strategy and the need for a balance between short-term and long-term outcomes. It highlights that even the best strategy will fail if not executed properly. Here are some key points from the text:

Perfect execution over perfect strategy

1. Prefer perfect execution because a flawed strategy can be compensated for with good execution, while perfect strategy without proper execution is ineffective.

2. No matter how good your plans or strategies are, if you can't bring them to life through effective execution, they won't lead to success. Execution involves picking a reasonable direction, learning quickly, making adjustments, and moving swiftly towards the desired outcome.

Balancing short-term and long-term outcomes:

Being too focused on either one can lead to problems. It's important to have a long-term vision but also address short-term realities to ensure successful execution. Striking the right balance is crucial for achieving positive outcomes.

Having a clear long-term vision is essential, as it guides decision-making and prioritization. By understanding the bigger picture and working backward, teams can align their efforts to reach their goals.

Taking a portfolio approach

Adopt a portfolio approach to allocate resources and time effectively. This involves dividing the team's focus among short-term, medium-term, and long-term projects to balance immediate needs with long-term growth.

Ensuring that everyone on the team understands and buys into the overarching vision is vital. By relating tasks, projects, decisions, and goals to the organization's higher-level purpose, teams can make aligned and meaningful contributions.

Good Process Is Ever Evolving

Iterating and improving both products and processes is improtant. Regular debriefs or retrospectives help identify what worked well and what can be improved, fostering a culture of learning and resilience.

In complex endeavors, creating playbooks or instruction manuals for common tasks and processes can streamline operations and ensure consistency. This enables others to learn and execute tasks effectively, reducing dependency on individuals and improving overall efficiency.

Processes, like products, are never truly finished. They should be continuously refined and adapted to meet changing needs and challenges. Embracing change and being open to evolving processes is essential for long-term success.

9. Leading a Growing Team

Until one day, you wake up and realize the old ways no longer work.

As a team grows and new members join, the existing processes and approaches may no longer be effective. Transitioning from managing a small team to a larger one requires developing new skills, such as setting a vision, hiring leaders, delegating responsibilities, and managing communication.

Big Teams Versus Small Teams

In Silicon Valley, hyper-growth is almost a way of life. The siren song of an ambitious dream can cause teams to expand at a dizzying pace. Career pages list dozens of roles; weekly orientations greet a sea of new faces. It’s common to feel that change and chaos are the only constants; everything else is improvisation. I tell prospective employees that a major reason why I love my job is this quality—with new challenges popping up every day, opportunities to learn are everywhere I look. People often ask me what’s different about my job now than when I started. Looking back, these are the most striking contrasts between managing small and large teams.

Direct to Indirect Management

Managing small teams allows for personal relationships with each team member and a deep understanding of their work. However, as teams grow larger, direct management becomes impractical, and managers must rely on hiring or developing additional managers. This shift can feel disorienting and may lead to a loss of control, but empowering leaders becomes necessary. Finding the right balance between involvement and trust is a key challenge when managing larger teams.

People treat you differently

When managing a team, it's important to recognize that people may treat you differently due to your position of authority. They might feel intimidated and hesitant to provide honest feedback or challenge your opinions. This dynamic can hinder effective communication and decision-making. To overcome this, managers can create an environment that encourages open dialogue by emphasizing the value of dissenting opinions and rewarding those who express them. It's crucial to own your mistakes and remind your team that you are human, approachable, and open to different perspectives. Using language that invites discussion and directly seeking advice can also help foster a culture of transparency and encourage team members to share their thoughts and concerns.

Examples:

• “I may be totally wrong here, so tell me if you disagree. My opinion is . . .”
• You can also ask directly for advice: “If you were me, what would you do in this situation?”

Context Switching All Day, Every Day

As a manager of a growing team, the ability to switch contexts throughout the day becomes increasingly important. With more projects and responsibilities, time becomes fragmented, and the need to swiftly transition from one topic to another arises. Without effective context switching, distractions and feelings of being overwhelmed can occur, resulting in a loss of focus and productivity. To manage this, several techniques can be employed.

• Reviewing the calendar each morning and preparing for upcoming meetings helps in mentally transitioning between discussions. (Plan your day)
• Developing a system for note-taking and task management aids in organizing and prioritizing various issues. (Meeting notes, Youtrack)
• Additionally, setting aside time for reflection at the end of each week can provide valuable insights and help maintain a sense of control. (Lattice)

While distractions may still arise, accepting that multiple issues will always be present and learning to adapt and navigate them becomes essential when managing a large team.

You Pick and Choose Your Battles

... at the end of the day, you are only one individual with a limited amount of time. You can’t do everything, so you must prioritize.

As a manager of a larger team, the days of completing all tasks and leaving the office with a clear slate become increasingly rare. With a broader scope of responsibilities, there is a greater likelihood of issues arising within the team. These can range from projects falling behind schedule to miscommunications or individuals not receiving adequate support. The reality is that there will always be numerous areas that require attention and improvement.

However, as an individual with limited time, it becomes crucial to prioritize and make choices. It is impossible to address everything, so determining the most important areas to focus on becomes essential. Perfectionism is not a viable option in this context. Adjusting to this reality may take time, but it is important to become comfortable with the idea of selecting and prioritizing what matters most and not allowing the overwhelming number of possibilities to hinder progress.

The Skills That Matter Become More and More People-Centric

As teams and organizations grow, the role of a manager shifts from being solely focused on their specific area of expertise to becoming more people-centric. While it may have seemed improbable in the past, the idea of executives swapping roles is becoming more plausible. The emphasis is no longer on individual expertise in various disciplines but on the ability to bring out the best in a diverse group of people.

For instance, a CEO is not expected to be an expert in every functional area such as sales, design, engineering, communications, finance, or human resources. However, they are responsible for building and leading an organization that encompasses all of these functions.

In higher levels of management, regardless of one's background, the role starts to converge. Success in such positions relies on mastering a set of key skills, including hiring exceptional leaders, fostering self-reliant teams, establishing a clear vision, and effectively communicating with others. These skills become paramount in achieving success as a manager in a growing organization.

The tightrope act of Delegation

...“the art of knowing when to dive in yourself and when to step back and entrust others.” Like crossing a tightrope while blindfolded, the balance is difficult to sustain.

Delegating effectively can be a challenging balancing act for managers. It involves knowing when to be involved and when to trust others. Micromanaging too much can stifle creativity and discourage talented individuals, while stepping back too much can leave teams feeling unsupported and lacking direction.

Micromanagers tend to be overly involved in every decision, constantly seeking updates, and scrutinizing minor details. Although they may achieve results, their style can be stifling, leading to talented individuals leaving and a lack of personal growth and problem-solving opportunities. They may be perceived as wanting obedient followers rather than independent thinkers.

On the other hand, absentee managers provide independence to their reports, but the lack of support and guidance can create a chaotic environment. They may be seen as disengaged and not actively contributing, leading to a loss of credibility and a lack of coaching and challenge for their team members.

In reality, most managers fall somewhere in between these extremes. However, personal values and preferences can cause individuals to lean more towards one end. Finding the right balance requires awareness and adaptability.

Managers may need to adjust their approach based on individual team members and specific aspects of their role. Different team members may require varying levels of involvement and support, depending on their confidence and the nature of their work. It is important to be receptive to feedback and adjust accordingly.

Achieving the right balance in delegation is not an exact science, but there are guiding principles to consider. The following principles will be explored further in the next section to help managers delegate effectively: setting clear expectations, providing necessary support and resources, empowering team members, maintaining open communication, and recognizing and celebrating achievements.

Giving People Big Problems Is A Sign Of Trust

Giving people big problems to solve is a sign of trust and empowerment. Just as my grandmother's constant help eventually led me to crave independence, employees want to be challenged and trusted to tackle difficult tasks. Managers who take on all the burdens of their team limit their own capacity and hinder the growth and development of their employees.

It is important for managers to recognize that they can't solve every problem on their own and that the best results come from individuals who have the time and dedication to fully immerse themselves in a problem. Talented employees are not looking for easy projects or special treatment; they want to be challenged and trusted with important responsibilities.

Delegating a difficult problem requires genuine belief in the capabilities of the person receiving the task. Once the problem is delegated, it is crucial to step back and provide the space for the individual to take ownership and lead. This includes publicly declaring their responsibility for the problem, creating accountability and empowerment.

However, delegating a hard problem doesn't mean abandoning the person. Just as you wouldn't leave a novice swimmer alone in the deep end of a pool, managers should support and coach their employees as they navigate the challenges. They should be there to provide assistance, guidance, and encouragement, ensuring a smooth and successful journey towards solving the problem.

Delegation is about striking a balance between trust, support, and empowerment. By giving employees big problems to solve and providing the necessary resources and guidance, managers foster growth, accountability, and a sense of ownership within their teams.

2 Heads, 1 Shared vision

...the one unique trait that made the human species the most successful in the world is that we are able to share the same vision in our heads, which helps even complete strangers work together. We control the world basically because we are the only animals that can cooperate flexibly in very large numbers. Yuval Noah Harari | Sapiens

Effective management is not about knowing every detail of your team's day-to-day work, but about creating a shared vision of what is important. In one-on-one meetings, it is more productive to focus on what is helpful for the other person rather than seeking status updates. As the team grows, it becomes unrealistic for a manager to have a deep understanding of every detail, especially when team members have their own responsibilities and priorities.

Creating a shared vision involves identifying the biggest priorities for the team and discussing them with your reports. It is important to align on why these priorities matter and how each individual can contribute to their success. Additionally, alignment should extend to how you think about people, purpose, and process within the team.

Building alignment on people involves clarifying expectations for team building and coaching roles. It also requires agreement on the performance of team members and recognizing those who excel and addressing those who are not meeting expectations. Emphasizing the importance of having the right people on the right problems can help prioritize team dynamics over individual projects.

Agreement on purpose is about understanding the greater meaning and impact of the work being done. Discussing why the team is doing what they are doing and what success looks like helps everyone stay focused on the bigger picture. When the purpose is clear, it guides actions and decisions.

Establishing healthy processes within the team is also crucial. This includes discussing effective ways to pitch ideas, communicating important updates, and optimizing meeting practices. These conversations contribute to a productive and efficient work environment.

By focusing on shared priorities, aligning on people, purpose, and process, and fostering open discussions, managers can create a strong sense of unity and collaboration within their teams.

What to do when manager struggles

Would you hire this person again if the role were open? If the answer is no, make the move.

When a manager on your team is not meeting expectations, it is important to address the situation in order to ensure the success of the team. While it is crucial to support and empower your leaders, it is equally important to recognize when a manager is not fulfilling their role as a positive multiplier for the team.

A manager who is not meeting expectations may be hindering the team's progress and success. They may be making poor decisions, causing delays, or failing to provide the necessary support to their team members. Even if they are not actively making things worse, they might still be holding the team back by not helping them become more efficient or attracting top talent. In such cases, it is essential to take action.

In fast-scaling organizations, managers who were initially well-suited for small teams may struggle to lead larger groups as the organization grows. It is important to assess whether a manager is capable of adapting to the challenges of a larger team or if their skills are better suited for a different role. While belief in a manager's potential for improvement is important, the impact on the team and its outcomes must be considered.

When faced with such situations, it is helpful to ask oneself whether the manager is the best fit for the role or if taking a chance on someone new would yield better results. The ultimate goal is to ensure the team's success and to minimize the costs associated with a manager who is not fulfilling their role effectively.

Having open and honest conversations with the manager in question is crucial. It may be necessary to have a discussion about their performance and the need for a change in their current role. While these conversations can be difficult, they are essential for the team's progress and overall success. Trusting your instincts and making the necessary decisions to ensure the team's success should be the guiding principle in such situations.

Aim To Put Yourself Out Of A Job

Try to double your leadership capacity every year.

The best managers understand the importance of constantly looking for ways to replace themselves in their current role. This may sound counterintuitive, as we often become attached to our tasks or enjoy the sense of expertise and control they provide. However, the goal of a manager is not to satisfy their own ego but to improve the outcomes of the team as a whole.

Delegating effectively involves finding or training someone who can perform a task as well as or better than you can. By doing so, the team becomes more capable, and you, as a manager, can take on more responsibilities. This requires a mindset of continuously doubling your leadership capacity every year, seeking to empower others and create opportunities for their growth.

One common mistake is holding onto tasks or responsibilities that could be delegated to others. It is important to recognize when someone else can do a task just as well or better than you and to trust them with that responsibility. Letting go of tasks that others are capable of handling allows you to focus on what is most important to the organization and where your unique skills and expertise can make the greatest impact.

When considering delegation, prioritize tasks that align with the organization's priorities and where you have a unique ability to add value. Anything that others can do as well as or better than you should be delegated. This not only frees up your time but also provides growth opportunities for your team members.

However, there are certain tasks or areas where your unique strengths and skills are valuable and should not be delegated. These are tasks that contribute to the organization's top priorities and where you can add unique value. Recognizing and leveraging your individual strengths, such as writing, speaking, or operational skills, can greatly benefit the team and the organization.

In summary, the aim as a manager should be to delegate tasks and responsibilities effectively, freeing up your time and empowering others to grow. Focus on the intersection of what is most important to the organization and where you can add unique value. By doing so, you create opportunities for your team to excel and achieve greater success.

Identify and communicate what matters

Your broader scope allows you to see patterns and opportunities for improvement that individual reports may not be aware of. By recognizing these patterns and effectively communicating them, you can drive alignment and improve the team's overall performance.

In the example you provided, you noticed a pattern of inconsistent design elements across different parts of the product. This inconsistency made the product feel more difficult to use for users because they couldn't rely on predictable patterns. Recognizing the impact of this issue, you rallied the team to establish a common design pattern library. This library became a valuable tool as the team scaled, enabling them to work more efficiently and cohesively.

Your ability to spot these patterns and take action demonstrates your value as a manager. It is important to proactively communicate these insights to your team, helping them understand the significance of the issue and the proposed solution. By sharing your observations and driving initiatives that address them, you contribute to the team's growth and success.

Additionally, your role involves providing guidance and support to your reports as they work towards achieving their goals. This includes offering feedback, coaching, and mentorship to help them improve their skills and performance. By actively engaging with your reports and sharing your expertise, you empower them to excel in their roles and contribute to the team's overall success.

In summary, as a manager, your ability to identify and communicate what matters to the team is crucial. By recognizing patterns, proposing solutions, and providing guidance, you contribute to the team's alignment, growth, and overall effectiveness.

Hiring top talent

Because prospective candidates are generally interested in talking with senior leaders, you have an advantage when it comes to finding and closing talent. I attend industry events and speak at conferences so that I can attract people to our team. I tell my reports that if they have a candidate they’re excited about, I’m happy to send that person a note or offer to talk on the phone. My manager does the same for me. No matter if you are the CEO or a front-line manager, building a great team is one of the most important things you can do.

Resolving conflicts within your group

In situations where there are conflicting demands or limited resources, it may be necessary for you to make the final decision on how to allocate resources or assign new team members.

For example, if two projects managed by different reports are understaffed and a new person wants to join your team, you can't rely on your reports to resolve the situation on their own because they may have different perspectives and priorities. Instead, it falls on you to assess the situation and make an informed decision. This requires having a comprehensive understanding of the goals and priorities of each project, as well as the overall needs and strategic direction of your team.

It's important to establish clear communication channels with your reports, ensuring they understand when to escalate conflicts or unclear priorities to you. By fostering an environment where open dialogue and timely escalation are encouraged, you can address conflicts and make decisions that align with the best interests of the team and the organization.

Regarding the question of becoming "overhead" by delegating everything to others, it's true that as a manager, your responsibilities may change over time. However, there will always be new challenges and problems to solve, even as you delegate tasks and responsibilities to your team. As you continue to grow and develop as a manager, your role expands beyond the specific tasks you once performed. Your value lies in your ability to navigate complex situations, provide guidance and mentorship, resolve conflicts, and lead your team to achieve greater outcomes.

Embracing new challenges and expanding your skills and capabilities is an integral part of the growth journey as a manager. By constantly striving to replace yourself and creating opportunities for your team members to grow, you enable both your team and yourself to tackle more significant and impactful endeavors. As you and your team climb new mountains together, you collectively achieve more and contribute to the overall success of the organization.

10. Nurturing Culture

• “What’s unique about your team?”
• “What are the best and worst parts of your job?”
• “How are decisions made?”
• “If you could change one thing about the way the company works, what would that be?”

When talking about culture, these questions pop-up. Culture describes the norms and values that govern how things get done.

Nothing at Facebook Is Somebody Else’s Problem.

As you manage more and more people, you’ll play a bigger role in shaping culture. Don’t underestimate the influence that you can have. Even if you’re not the CEO, your actions reinforce what the company values. It’s not just about your relationship to the team as manager. It’s also about their relationships with each other, and with the group as a whole.

Know The Kind Of Team You Want To Be A Part Of

Your team’s culture is like its personality. It exists whether or not you think about it.

Remember the exercises from Chapter Five: Managing Yourself when we wrote down your personal strengths, growth areas, and aspirations? It’s time to do the same with your team. The key is to find the intersection between what your team does well and what you hope the team values. When you have an hour or so, grab a pen and jot down your answers to the following questions:

Understanding Your Current Team

• What are the first three adjectives that come to mind when describing the personality of your team?
• What moments made you feel most proud to be a part of your team? Why?
• What does your team do better than the majority of other teams out there?
• If you picked five random members of your team and individually asked each person, “What does our team value?” what would you hear?
• How similar is your team’s culture to the broader organization’s culture?
• Imagine a journalist scrutinizing your team. What would she say your team does well or not well?
• When people complain about how things work, what are the top three things that they bring up?

Understanding Your Aspirations

• Describe the top five adjectives you’d want an external observer to use to describe your team’s culture. Why those?
• Now imagine those five adjectives sitting on a double-edged sword. What do you imagine are the pitfalls that come from ruthless adherence to those qualities? Are those acceptable to you?
• Make a list of the aspects of culture that you admire about other teams or organizations. Why do you admire them? What downsides does that team tolerate as a result?
• Make a list of the aspects of culture that you wouldn’t want to emulate from other teams or companies. Why not?

Understanding The Difference

• On a scale from one to nine, with nine being “we’re 100 percent there” and one being “this is the opposite of our team,” how close is your current team from your aspirations?
• What shows up as both a strength of your team as well as a quality you value highly?
• Where are the biggest gaps between your current team culture and your aspirations?
• What are the obstacles that might get in the way of reaching your aspirations? How will you address them?
• Imagine how you want your team to work in a year’s time. How would you describe to a report what you hope will be different then compared to now?

Once you’ve identified the values you want to nurture within your team, the next step is to develop a game plan to help those values flourish.

Never Stop Talking About What’S Important

• It's important to talk about what you care about, even if it means repeating yourself.
• The more you talk about what you care about, the more positively people will respond.
• Talking about your values makes you a more authentic and inspiring leader.

Walk the Talk

“You rarely ask me or others on the team for feedback, and I’d love to see you do more of it.”

• Leaders should always practice what they preach.
• If a leader says one thing and does another, it will erode trust and credibility.
• Leaders should be role models for the values they want their team to embrace.

References

• Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny
• High Output Management by Andrew S. Grove
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• Strenghts Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath
• Mindset by Carol Dweck

Action items

Strength Finder

• Get access to CliftonStrengths 34, and find your strengths.
• Take Standout Assesments

To ask my manager

Here are some things you can ask your manager for:

1. Executive coach: If you feel overwhelmed and in need of guidance, you can ask your manager if it's possible to get an executive coach like Stacy McCarthy. An executive coach can provide valuable support and help you navigate challenges.

2. Time to step back and reflect: Sometimes, taking a step back and reflecting on yourself and your situation can be beneficial. You can ask your manager for some time or space to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, values, and comfort zones.

3. Feedback from colleagues: Requesting feedback from colleagues can provide valuable insights into how you are perceived and how your actions impact others. You can ask your manager if it's possible to conduct interviews with people you work closely with to gather feedback about your management style, strengths, weaknesses, and other relevant aspects.

4. Self-assessment and feedback report: Similar to the twenty-page report mentioned in the text, you can ask your manager for a self-assessment or feedback report that delves deeper into your working style, strengths, weaknesses, and how you are perceived by others. Such a report can help you gain a better understanding of yourself and identify areas for improvement.

5. Support for personal and professional growth: You can discuss with your manager your aspirations, career goals, and areas where you want to develop. Request support, resources, or opportunities that can help you grow both personally and professionally.

Remember, these suggestions may vary depending on your specific situation and the relationship with your manager. It's important to have open and honest communication with your manager to explore possibilities and find the best ways to support your growth and development.

Questions to answer

• How do I make decisions?
• What do I consider a job well done?
• What are all the responsibilities I took care of when it was just me?
• What’s easy or hard about working in this function?
• What new processes are needed now that this team is growing?
• What qualities do I want in a team member?
• What skills does our team need to complement my own?
• How should this team look and function in a year?
• How will my own role and responsibilities evolve?