The One Sentence Persuasion Course

Introduction

So, whatever can be done must be done in those brief moments in which we find ourselves awake. And for me, that means taking whatever wisdom makes itself known to me and capturing it, to the best of my ability, so that I might return to it during darker times and use it to pull myself up, dust myself off, and not only survive, but perhaps, even succeed.

I call this wisdom Crooked Wisdom , not because it is unethical, but because it is uncommon. it is uncommon because it often goes against everything we have been taught, everything we have been led to believe.

The Original One Sentence Persuasion Course

Given the pace of today’s world, it has never been easier to be powerfully persuasive. Never. It doesn’t require good looks, a silver tongue, or infallible logic. It doesn’t require confidence, charisma, or a magnetic personality. It is a simple matter when one cuts through all the smoke. It’s cutting though the smoke that’s the hard part.

“Wait a minute. It must not be that ridiculous if it fooled me.”

With this one thought, you will have risen to a level of intellectual honesty and understanding that few people ever experience. You will have discovered that the most magical things in life, on and off the stage, are often the result of the correct application of the most basic principles imaginable.

What is necessary is a fundamental understanding of human nature. For persuasion, even the most extreme examples of persuasion, such as suicide cults and mass movements, is often based on the most basic of human desires. Just as magicians can perform miracles using mundane principles, powerful persuaders shape the world in much the same way.

That, in a single sentence, contains five of the most important insights I have learned in all my years of studying and applying the principles of persuasion:

• encourage their dreams
• justify their failures
• allay their fears
• confirm their suspicions
• help them throw rocks at their enemies

These five insights are not only tools for mad men, but for marketers, salesmen, seducers, evangelists, entertainers, etc. In short, they are the tools for anyone who must connect with others and, more importantly, make these connections pay off.

If you don’t believe me, try to find a truly successful ad campaign that does not use 1 or more of these 5 insights.

Try to find a deep satisfying relationship that isn’t built upon one or more of these ideas.

The bottom line is, whenever and wherever people form powerful bonds, these insights are more often than not, lurking in the shadows.

On encouraging their dreams...

Parents often discourage their children’s dreams for “their own good” and attempt to steer them toward more “reasonable” goals. And children often accept this as normal, until others come along who believe in them and encourage their dreams. When this happens, who do you think has more power? Parents? Or strangers?

On justifying their failures...

While accepting responsibility is essential for gaining control of ones own life, assuring others they are not responsible is essential for gaining influence over theirs. One need look no further than politics to see this powerful game played at its best.

On allaying their fears...

When we are afraid, it is almost impossible to concentrate on anything else.

We “tell” them not to be afraid and expect that to do the trick. Does it work? Hardly.

But there are those who do realize this and pay special attention to our fears. They do not tell us not to be afraid. Instead, they work with us until our fear subsides. They present evidence, they offer support, they tell us stories, but they do not tell us how to feel and expect us to feel that way. When you are afraid, which type of person do you prefer to be with?

On confirming their suspicions...

One of our favorite things to say is, “I knew it.” There’s just nothing quite like having our suspicions confirmed.

When another person confirms something that we suspect, we not only feel a surge of superiority, we feel attracted to the one who helped us make that surge come about.

It is a simple thing to confirm the suspicions of those who are desperate to believe them.

On helping them throw rocks at their enemies...

Nothing bonds like having a common enemy. I realize how ugly this sounds and yet, it is true just the same. Those who understand this can utilize this. Those who don’t understand it, or worse, understand but refuse to address it, are throwing away one of the most effective ways of connecting with others.

People have enemies. All people. It has been said that everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle. The thing they are struggling with is their enemy. Whether it is another individual, a group, an illness, a setback, a rival philosophy or religion, or what have you, when one is engaged in a struggle, one is looking for others to join him.

Those who do become more than friends; they become partners. What’s Missing? sentence. It is missing something most people think is very important in the persuasion process.

Here’s what’s missing: YOU There isn’t a word about your wants, your needs, your hopes, or your concerns. There isn’t a word about your offer or proposal. There isn’t a word about what you think. It is all about the other person.

Can you imagine how much energy you will free up if you stop focusing on yourself and put your attention on other people? Can you even imagine how much more charismatic you will become when you come to be seen as one who can fulfill some of these most basic emotional needs?

Everything is perfect, with the exception of your focus. Your message shines. Your confidence is solid. Your proposal is a no-brainer. And yet, none of this makes the slightest bit of difference when you are looking past the other person. This is exactly what happens in a conversation when your focus is on your own goals. You are looking past the person, looking past everything that is most important to them. And you have little hope of ever being able to establish a deep connection with them.

Anything for those who educate them, do what’s best for them, or even treat them fairly. It does not say people will do anything for those who are eloquent, well dressed, and pleasant. Nor those who make the best case for their proposals, who are reasonable and who come across as intelligent.

When we focus on these basic principles of human nature, we create relationships in which people naturally want to do things for us. This is the real secret to getting what we want. Really. It is that simple. Or, I should say, it can be that simple.

Have you ever noticed that the harder you push, the more resistance you get? When you focus on what you want, people will resist. That’s what people do.

But one thing people rarely resist is someone trying to meet their needs. And when ones needs have been met, a bond is often forged and a natural desire to reciprocate has been created.

People leave long-term marriages and relationships for people they just met and their spouses are often left stunned. They wouldn’t be if they understood the power of these needs. Like it or not, the duration of our relationships is nothing compared to the depth of our relationships. And depth is based on the fulfillment of our deepest needs, not on the duration of dialog.

I haven’t said you should ignore your wants. I simply said you should focus on the other person, not forget yourself.

When you are with another person you want to influence, your primary focus should be on that person. Do not look past him or her by focusing on your intentions.

The secret

“A secret has been passed throughout the ages, known only to a fortunate few. Those who knew it, harnessed its power. They became the greatest people in history.”

But then - for some unspecified reason - they decided to keep “the secret” from the public forever, while they continued to reap its benefits. Eventually, the church even discovered “the secret” and it was banned. But now, for the first time ever, “the secret” is about to be released.

True or not, that is some story. And not only is it tremendously entertaining, it secretly - no pun intended - lets us off the hook for our past failures. After all, how can anyone expect us to succeed if the very secret to success has been kept from us?

“You are the only one who creates your reality. For no one else can think for you. No one else can do it. It is only you. Every bit of it. You.”

That seems to directly contradict my claim that The Secret justifies our failures. It appears The Secret is doing just the opposite.

How does The Secret allay our fears? And what fears? the fears that would need to be addressed are primarily fears of one being incapable of applying “the secret.” In other words, “Sure, this stuff may work for other people, but not little old me.” Well, have no fear.

If you put all of your intention on the things you want, the “Law of Attraction” is going to give them to you. Every time. And, in case you’re afraid there might be too much work involved, again, have no fear.

an “enemy” - my term, not theirs - is anyone or any thing that stands in the way of our getting what we want.

So, how are we to deal with these enemies? We are to shun them.

The Secret , when you encounter things you don’t want in your life, “...do not talk about them. Don’t write about them. Don’t join groups that worry about them. Don’t push against them. Do your best to ignore them.”

Notice, it does not encourage you to make peace with them, to embrace them, or even to tolerate them. You are to shun them, ignore them,

which, in the end, may hurt more than actually throwing rocks at them.

“Feeling depressed lately? It may be the result of a chemical imbalance in your brain.”

The second commercial, one for a weight loss product, starts out like this, “If you’ve tried to lose that extra weight and have failed, it may not be your fault. It may be your metabolism.”

What makes the use of scapegoating in these situations ethical is that they are absolutely true statements. Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. And obesity can be caused by metabolism.

It is used immediately in their pitches and instantly offers the viewer something of value - a scapegoat for their problems. From here, the viewer is much more open to the rest of their message.

A landscaper once told me that when he first meets potential clients they are often embarrassed by the condition of their property. When he senses this, he immediately points out how many of the problems with their property are due to such things as drought conditions, bad soil conditions and the like.

The condition of their property doesn’t say anything negative about the potential client.

He told me that the number of people he secured as clients increased significantly once he realized that people often not only want their property to look nicer, but don’t want to accept responsibility for it looking poor in the first place.

I am encouraging the reader’s dreams of becoming more persuasive. And, for those who have doubts about their own potential, for example, not enough confidence or charisma, I take extra steps to assure them they can do it as well.

Here, I help allay their fears with the phrase, "Take a deep breath and relax." Then, I help them throw rocks at their enemies with the phrase, " We’re about to take aim."

" We’re about to take aim." Not, " I’m about to take aim." I then said, " We must clear away some smoke."

Not, " I must clear away some smoke." These subtle changes in language help assure people that I am on their side, and no one else’s.

Well, Nietzsche reportedly said that the message of most books could be reduced to a single paragraph without losing anything of value.

the most magical things in life - on and off the stage - are often the result of the correct application of the most basic principles imaginable.

your family, friends, customers, clients and even everyone you have yet to meet will have these needs met by someone. The only question is, will it be by you?

More "One Sentence Persuasion"

The most important people in my life, the people who have the greatest persuasive power over me, are those who meet some or all of these needs for me.

Persuasion may be a science, but persuasion comes wrapped in human communication, which is not a science. Nor, an art. But more like a game, which we make up as we go along. And, the five points of one sentence persuasion can serve as strategic guides to help us decide which way to play our hand at any given time.

The five points are independent of each other. That is, it isn’t necessary to address all five points,

Validate & fascinate

Our need for validation is so strong, yet so often overlooked, it is frightening.

The point is, our need for validation is no joke. And it is not something we’re going to outgrow. It is something we must accept and adjust for. Or, pay an awful price for not doing so.

This need to be right often overtakes our desire to be well thought of, and even our desire to be treated well.

“...our self views lie at the center of our psychological universe, providing the context for all our knowledge. Should our self-views flounder, we would no longer have a secure basis for understanding and responding to the world.”

Every moment of every day, we want to be engaged in something. It often doesn’t matter what it is as long as it can gain and maintain our attention. We seek entertainment, conversation, confrontation. We do crossword puzzles, work in the garden, listen to music. We cook, we clean, we rearrange. Even when we’re exhausted and want to relax, we simply engage in something else. We swim, we go to amusement parks and we meditate. All this in an effort to alleviate the one thing few people can endure: boredom.

This is why many of us are so easily distracted. Unless our current thoughts or activities are sufficiently engaging, the next best thing that comes along will pull us away.

through engagement that we experience and through experience that we are changed, those who engage us hold the keys to our hearts and minds, and from there, our actions. We do not see these people as manipulators. We see them as saviors.

Why Playing with kids, has greater impact. The engagement it offers, is the hook

“What holds attention determines action.” ~ William James

While some view capturing attention as the first stage of persuasion, many of those I studied seemed to view it as the only stage of persuasion.

No matter how unskilled or unpolished you may be, if you can capture and hold another person’s attention long enough, they will eventually fold to your command. Why? Because when our attention is captured, our conscious judgment and self-awareness recedes and suggestibility takes their place.

Correct and convince

It is often coming out of us all the time as well.

If we insist on correcting people before we convince them, we might as well accept the fact that we’re never likely to convince them of anything.

fascinating others is one of the easiest things in the world, if you do it within a context of validation.

Thus, the strategy “validate and fascinate.” In that order.

Now compare this with the correct-and-convince strategy. Within a context of correction, nothing we say will be very convincing.

Sometimes, we may not be able to bring ourselves to encourage another’s dreams. Especially if we feel the dreams are particularly harmful to them.

Sometimes we may need to encourage others to accept full responsibility for their actions. To do otherwise might promote irresponsible behavior.

Sometimes we may not be able to confirm another’s suspicions because their suspicions are just plain wrong.

And finally, we may not be able to help them throw rocks at their enemies because they have misidentified the enemy.

Instead of validating the specific needs they’re trying to fulfill, we can address and validate the more universal needs and motives underlying them.

If we can’t justify their failures, we can at least acknowledge that there are many contributing factors to any situation and then suggest that, right or wrong, sometimes the most effective way to get out of a situation is to act as if one is completely responsible for it.

If we can’t allay their fears, we can at least assure them that it is okay to be afraid. To tell someone who is already afraid that they shouldn’t be afraid only compounds the problem.

If we can’t confirm their suspicions, we can at least acknowledge the possibility of their suspicions being correct and let them know that we understand how they could have come to such a conclusion. Even if we don’t share that conclusion ourselves.

If we can’t help them throw rocks at their enemies, we can at least acknowledge the universal desire to seek revenge before we try to talk them out of it.

Perhaps the greatest irony of all when it comes to validating these needs is that when we are allowed to have these needs and even indulge them, we often don’t. The very fact that it is okay for us to feel a certain way encourages us to stop fighting to maintain and justify our feeling that way. When we’re told it is okay to dream, we tend to be more flexible with our dreams. When we’re told we’re not responsible for something, we often find that we’re more open to accepting responsibility for it. When we’re told that it’s okay to be afraid, we often feel less afraid. When we’re told that we’re probably justified in being suspicious, we tend to become less so. And when we’re allowed to throw rocks at our enemies, we often tire of it very, very quickly.