Be More Keanu - A Book Summary

Introduction

‘When you truly understand karma then you realise you are responsible for everything in your life.’ KEANU

‘He who loves fifty people has fifty woes; he who loves no one has no woes.’

I mean, not only was Chapter 3 of the franchise subtitled in Latin ( Parabellum – meaning ‘prepare for war’, as all you Plato fans will know), ‘“The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.”

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming it’s known as ‘modelling’ – essentially imagining yourself in his size tens and asking ‘What would Keanu do?’

Keanu, The Guru

So what is a ‘guru’?

A guru is not just defined as a ‘great master’ and ‘leader’ but also a ‘dispeller of darkness’; someone who enlightens the ignorant. A guru is ripe with knowledge, like a full cloud.

In the first Matrix film it’s actually Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus who’s the real guru, not Keanu’s Neo. Morpheus is like a walking, talking self-help book;

For most of the movie, Neo is us – listening, learning and understandably baffled by the whole concept of ‘residual self image’ and ‘neural interactive simulations’. He asks plenty of questions but doesn’t have answers yet.

but knowing just as little. ‘I’m nobody. I didn’t do anything’ he pleads. And it’s Morpheus who gives him the confidence to face up to the fact that he might, in fact, be the very opposite of ‘nobody’, that he might be able to learn and do. He might have a future as a guru. As ‘The One’.

We could all do with a Morpheus in our life. He’s the mentor every aspiring guru needs to get them up and running. Or maybe you could be someone else’s? So don’t just #bemorekeanu. Try being a little Morpheus too. Help turn someone’s thought into belief, belief into action.

Making mistakes is an important part of the long journey to guru-dom. Essential, even. Without mistakes there is no learning. Cocking-up every now and then is crucial to growth.

Flow is being so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter, even making it look simple because you’ve practised so hard after all those early mistakes. It doesn’t matter if that activity is physical or mental – it’s all about being in the now, connected to this moment. After all, the life we experience is only ever this moment. We really need to bond with it. If you always live for another moment then you never really live at all.

Flow is the ultimate example of turning your learning into action, mistakes into freedom, and moving forward.

In flow you’re lost in the moment. It’s really the only place worth getting lost in.

WAYS OF FINDING YOUR GURU FLOW, KEANU-STYLE:

Choose goals well

Goals that are too easy will lead to apathy. Goals that are too difficult are frustrating. So find something in-between, challenging but not overwhelming. ‘The path to enlightenment is in the middle way. It is the line between all opposite extremes’ as Keanu’s Siddhartha says in Little Buddha . It could even be just trying to be more mindful in daily life – achievable but certainly not easy.

Meditation

Take a break to rest the mind, observe thoughts and focus on one thing. It generates calming alpha and theta brain waves and helps you find that all important flow in daily life – a gym session for the brain. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. It’s just a breather. ‘Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily lives’ Keanu reminds us, ‘that we forget to take the time out to enjoy the beauty in life’.

Ritual

The eye-popping fight between Neo and multiple Agent Smiths in The Matrix Reloaded took weeks to perfect. Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently. Surfers get up early every day to catch a wave. Fighters train. If Keanu doesn’t go exploring on his Norton Commando for a day or two he gets a bit tetchy.

Engage

To find flow, behave like a traveller not a tourist; make the effort to do, not just look. ‘There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path’ Morpheus tells us in The Matrix. Maybe it’s time to take a stroll?

To learn he has to ditch his comfort zone. It makes sense. Meeting new people and learning new skills (be it surfing, kung fu or world history via a time-travelling telephone box) is good for the brain, increasing crucial neural pathways.

Take the stunning house owned by John Wick, seriously beautiful in its simplicity, secluded and next to a calming lake. (Where else would a guru live but next to water, one of the most common religious metaphors around, representing such concepts as knowledge, salvation and time?)

‘Money doesn’t mean anything to me’ Keanu has claimed. ‘I’ve made a lot of money, but I want to enjoy life and not stress myself building my bank account. I give lots away and live simply, mostly out of a suitcase in hotels.

He speaks little in films, even less in real life. Why? Because knowledge is silent. ‘In my quiet, I was working something out’ Keanu has enigmatically said and it’s true that once we realise the power of our thoughts and our words, we cherish them more, favouring silence to the throwaway and the negative. After all, our thoughts and words can create our own weaknesses as well as our own strengths. We need to be careful (it’s why ‘Excellent!’ and ‘Whoa!’ convey so much more than some lengthy monologue). So work hard in silence. The quieter you become, the more you can hear. Let success be your noise.

‘Genius can be recognised by its childish simplicity’.

‘Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory … lasts forever’.

it’s true that to know beauty you must also know pain; to know love, loss.

‘The best place to be is here. The best time to be is now’.

5th century BC philosopher Confucius was in his late sixties when he taught disciples about ‘the Golden Rule’ (‘Do not do unto others what you do not want done to yourself’).

‘The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it’ wrote the French philosopher and novelist Jean-Paul Sartre.

wabi-sabi loosely translates as ‘rustic serenity’, let’s make it even more simple by giving it a Keanu spin: experience is badass .

Okay … you’ve found your path, you’ve practised hard, you’ve meditated regularly and lived a life of modesty and minimalism. What’s all that flow actually for ?

Freedom . ‘When I don’t feel free and can’t do what I want, I just react’ he’s admitted. ‘I go against it’.

‘Getting away from everything feels good’

‘I am looking for freedom’.

Nowhere is that struggle for freedom clearer than in The Matrix. ‘What is the Matrix?’ Morpheus asks, before making things crystal clear: ‘ Control .’

Here’s a film where Neo’s own free will is constantly being questioned (‘You are a slave, Neo’), the question of who is in charge constantly being posed.

As The Matrix series continued, the philosophical wrangling about freedom got more intense, deconstructing old beliefs and asking us to come up with new ones.

Creators the ss, 'Keanu Reaves', 'John Wick' were deliberate in their scattergun approach to religious nods. They wanted us, the viewers, to grow as Neo did, to go along with him on his journey to guru status, learning from multiple sources. After all, The Matrix is a story about minds opening. It needs to welcome all sides.

Most importantly, The Matrix is seriously fun . Neo’s blossoming via kung fu, kissing and ‘guns, lots of guns’ is a riot to watch. Enlightenment can still be entertaining.

Maybe few of us can ever achieve the complete freedom that gurus seek. It’s certainly no overnight lightbulb moment. Yet Keanu comes pretty damn close. His deliberate thoughts have led to sincere choices and considered actions. That kind of authenticity is the ultimate form of rebellion.

And whilst we can’t all explore big questions in big movies (or on our big motorbikes out in the big Californian countryside) we can at least try in our own small, personal ways. Go for a run. Play chess. Learn to knit. The path to enlightenment looks different to everyone. We just need to take the first step.

Tips for the wannabe guru

1. Learn and do. Know the path and walk the path. Guru-status is achieved when you stop waiting for the right moment and make the most of the moment you’re in now.

2. Relish mistakes. Mistakes are helpful in the long-term. Challenges help us understand. Without The Watcher (terrible) Keanu might never have made Something’s Gotta Give (awesome).

3. Age and experience are a help, not a hindrance. After all, the higher you’ve climbed, the better the view.

4. Find silence. Every time you return to just the breath, you are experiencing the freedom every guru seeks. The internet has countless useful guided meditations to help.

5. Simplify, simplify, simplify. The easiest way to organise your stuff is to get rid of most of it. A simple life is a free life.

Keanu, The Gentleman

Choose what you say carefully and everyone listens. Sentences gain weight that way. For a movie star, it gives presence, atmosphere and dynamism. It makes Keanu a wonderful conundrum.

Yet by slowing down our behaviour with awareness, we can process our emotions more clearly and more healthily

‘Every moment is precious. I’m trying to travel. I want to go to Paris … I’d like to read some books’

Why The Best People Read (Books, Not Just Buzzfeed):

1. It’s mentally stimulating. Reading is a neurological workout that keeps your brain in shape.

2. It’s relaxing – a distraction from real world stress.

3. It’s educational. Books boost knowledge and vocabulary.

4. It helps concentration. Read more and improve your ability to focus.

It’s a recognition that success is so often because of a larger effort rather than an individual ego. ‘Workplace synergy’ they call it in business. Or as Keanu puts it (when talking about working with his stunt team on the John Wick movies): ‘That feeling, that bond, of just like “Wow, we did that! That was great!”’

‘Be excellent to each other!’

‘It’s always wonderful to get to know women, with the mystery and the joy and the depth’ he stated, melting a million hearts in the process.

Temptations are normal, of course. No one’s perfect – not even Keanu. But there are ways to avoid them. Experts recommend that the first thing to do when aiming to resist temptation is to set achievable goals. Don’t say ‘I won’t spend any more time looking at pictures of Keanu online ever’ – just say ‘I won’t spend the next hour looking at pictures of Keanu online’. Be realistic. By admitting it’s down to the choices you make, you’re taking control of the situation

Grief changes shape. But it never ends’ Keanu believes. And it’s true that if you love, you will grieve. It’s one of life’s certainties.

Even in the face of tragedy, a stellar person can thrive. No matter what’s going on in your life, you can overcome it! Life is worth living’.

Tips for wannabe gentlefolk

1. Speak a little, say a lot. Listen more, consider your thoughts, be concise. It’s not just the polite thing to do. It shows emotional maturity and seriousness too.
2. Reading is growing. It’s travel for the brain, broadening horizons, where learning and humility meet.
3. Be generous. To others and to yourself. Focusing on other people’s problems will reframe your own. Being patient with yourself allows time to heal.
4. Accept evolution. From suffering we learn compassion – and more – so why fight it? Kindness adapts.
5. Rescue a dog (optional). But always remember: puppies are for life, not just for YouTube.

Keanu, The Fighter

We might not all have renowned martial arts choreographers to help us with our flying kicks, the principle remains the same: a fight master is a practitioner … who keeps practising.

as John Wick is so poetically described: ‘A man of focus, commitment and sheer f***ing will’. He’s reluctant, yes. But that never makes him sloppy.

It’s just basic manners. ‘Sometimes enemies are our best teachers’ believes Keanu, offering respect to even those that have hurt him. ‘People can learn from their mistakes, destruction sometimes means rebirth’. Every fight is an opportunity.

The brain is the first muscle we need to build to achieve anything, whether it’s beating up the bad guys or simply greeting each day with a smile.

You stole my car & killed my dog routine

• choose low-impact circuit training rather than just one or two intense exercises.
• perform twenty reps of each move.
• only rest very briefly between them.
• when the first circuit is done, take a two minute breather.
• repeat five more times (with two minute breaks).
• beat up a bunch of gangsters in your front room.

Especially mental health. Keanu’s commitment to his action roles is never only about the body. Training for John Wick wasn’t about pumping iron. It was about movement, muscular endurance and stability.

Research even suggests that the sense of purpose associated with constantly trying new things like this – adapting and evolving – leads to lower cortisol levels, better immune function and more efficient sleep.

‘You’re not too bright, man’ Howard goes on. ‘But you got some big, round, hairy cojones’. sometimes you just have to rely on quick thinking and listening to your gut, too.

Nevertheless, instincts can still be honed; they’re still linked to our learning and experience and all that mental strength the best fighters cultivate. So relying on instinct doesn’t mean you don’t need to do your homework. It’s not a shortcut.

Multi-tasking - A myth

Warriors don’t let themselves get bogged down with details and distractions. Fighters see the big picture, the end goal. They don’t try to multi-task.

The brain doesn’t actually perform multiple tasks simultaneously – we just switch between them quickly. It’s a stop/start process. And the surprise to many? Flip-flopping like that is less effective than focusing on one thing at a time since we make more mistakes, it drains more energy and actually costs vital seconds.

If Keanu doesn’t have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) then he doesn’t have JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) either – because he doesn’t even think he’s missing out on anything.

Let’s be honest: that kind of commitment has no space for selfies.

Admit flaws

You can measure how brave you are by how vulnerable you’re willing to be.

No-one can be truly strong unless they allow themselves to be vulnerable too.

where’s the shame in admitting your flaws? It actually shows a strong emotional maturity. Refusing to be vulnerable means locking up your truths – but they can’t stay locked up forever.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage’ wrote the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu

Tips for wannabe warriors

1. Focus and commit. A fighter never stops training. ‘I fear not the man who has practised 10,000 kicks once’ said Bruce Lee. ‘I fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times.’

2. Adapt. Whether your battle is physical or mental, things change. Goalposts move. Parameters shift. Be prepared to move with them.

3. Trust your gut. Instinct is inherent but can also be sharpened. The more you practise something, the more your intuition is likely to be right.

4. Treat the brain as a muscle. A true warrior knows that their brain needs to be exercised too, that struggles are won when head, heart and hand all work together.

5. Log off. I mean, did you ever see John Wick check his Instagram?

Keanu, The Friend

We’ve added years to life, not life to our years’ he claimed. ‘Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.’

The best friends aren’t virtual ones. A real presence can motivate us, improve our wellbeing … and help us realise deeply buried things about ourselves

Tips to deal with A PNF

PNF - Potential New Friend

• Once you’ve identified a PNF, don’t be afraid to flirt a little. Flirting is dipping a toe in the water, getting on a surfboard for the first time and seeing how it feels. Look for shared interests, values and emotions by casually throwing them into conversation.
• If that goes well, consider the next step. How will you spend more time with your PNF? Treat it as you would a romantic date. Try new experiences together or introduce your PNF to a pastime that has personal meaning to you. Over time you’ll get to know if they are ‘the one’ (sorry Neo).
• Are they as interested in your life as you are theirs? Friendships – like romance – need balance.
• Friendships also need work. Check-in on friends (new and old) out of the blue, support their plans, push them when you think they need it. The best ones, like Keanu and Charlize, can even withstand a little time apart.

Tips for being a Friend:

1. Party on! Optimism in the face of overwhelming odds (such as Evil Bill and Evil Ted trying to stop you winning the Battle of the Bands contest) is the mark of a most bodacious compadre.
2. Work on projects together. Because what’s good for the head and heart is also good for business.
3. Learn and teach. Close friends can open our minds to new ideas – and we can do the same for them. ‘A wise man is he who listens to counsel’ it says in the Bible (from the days when women obviously weren’t allowed to be seen as wise
4. Flirt. Finding new friends takes a bit of emotional work, as does keeping the old ones. If it feels right, the effort won’t feel like a chore.
5. ‘Be excellent to each other!’ Obviously

Keanu, The Rockstar

Music is … a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy’. Sometimes music should be more about catharsis than perfection, enjoying it simply as an emotional release

Find the simplest truth like that and you will always be free; ‘so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion’, to quote legendary French thinker Albert Camus. It can just be … well, fun. A hobby. Listening to it, playing it. Hobbies bring a sense of freedom to life that can help combat stress and exhaustion, a much needed work break that’s something to look forward to after a hard day’s saving the world. A sense of connection and purpose like that is one of the basic foundations for happiness.

Plus hobbies can provide a cheeky neurological workout too, especially being in a band. The simple act of playing an instrument requires different brain systems to work together, leading to a healthy change in brain activity

Mostly though, creativity has been shown to induce happiness without any ulterior motive. It’s about making something – be it music, movies or motorbikes – for the simple joy of making them.

Taking any kind of risk forces us to face the fear of uncertainty and it’s that process that’s more useful than the actual outcome, helping us become more resilient and confident. It really is more about the journey than the destination – and who you might share that journey with.

I’ve had some of the best times of my life on a motorcycle’.

Tps for wannabe Wyld Stallyns:

1. Don’t worry if you suck. Whatever your group – rock band or book club – happiness is in the journey not in some mythical idea of ultimate perfection.
2. Find your bandmates. Just as every instrument provides something crucial to a song – beat, rhythm, groove, melody – we rely on each other. Even loners like Keanu need back-up.
3. Celebrate creativity. Being creative can be wonderfully contradictory – strong and sensitive, happy and sad. Embrace that challenge.
4. Risks aren’t just rock ’n’ roll. They build character and help us learn. And they don’t always have to involve haring around corners at sixty miles per hour.
5. But mainly, enjoy yourself! Being cool often comes with a sneer but the best way to stick it to the man is to be unexpected. Passions are meant to be fun. Why be afraid to show it?

Keanu, The Comedian

You know what’s a better predictor of success than IQ?

EQ

These days it means Emotional Intelligence. In other words, how we understand ourselves and others. Can we control our emotions and help to manage other people’s? Can we motivate ourselves and empathise with those struggling? And maybe most importantly, do we know our own strengths and weaknesses? Are we self-aware?

The only stars that matter are the ones you look at when you dream’

If you are making a woman laugh’ Keanu once whispered, ‘you are seeing the most beautiful thing on God’s Earth’.

The idea [of fame] … is so abstract. It’s really cool to have a response to what you’ve done, but it’s not something I like to search out in my spare time’ he said in 1989.

STICK ON BOGUS JOURNEY AND ENJOY THE FOLLOWING GIFTS:

1. Laughter relaxes. A belly laugh relieves tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after. No way? Yes way!
2. Laughter boosts the immune system. Chuckle your way to fewer stress hormones and more immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies. The result? A better resistance to infection. Excellent!
3. Laughter gets you buzzing. It’s all about the endorphins produced, your feel-good chemicals. Not only do they help with an overall sense of well-being, they can even temporarily help with pain. Whoa!
4. Laughter protects the heart. Giggles improve the functioning of blood vessels and boost blood flow, helping to protect against heart problems. Most non-heinous!
5. Laughter is slimming (sort of). ‘Reaping burns a lot of calories’ according to Death in Bogus Journey but it’s a lot more fun to simply have a good chuckle. Ten to fifteen minutes a day can burn approximately forty calories. Get down with your bad self!

What we did in the last month, last year, even in childhood, shouldn’t deny us the chance of reinvention like that. Of course real change is often painful, otherwise it’s likely you’re not changing enough, and Keanu’s move from comedy to drama was perhaps especially painful for critics who thought they had him all figured out.

it’s all about emodiversity – i.e. displaying a broad range of emotions in a balanced way. Be true to how you are feeling at a certain time, your authentic mood, and your wellbeing will thank you for it.

it’s all about knowing your ‘why’; determining your mission, what underpins your sense of integrity. Work that out and you’ll instinctively understand when to try something new and when to say ‘no’. The key to greatness in any walk of life – to influence and longevity – is that sense of unwavering character and purpose. And that can bend to work in any situation. So what’s your ‘why’?

Tips for using laughter in your life

1. Chuckle at yourself. Giggle at your shortcomings. Transparency like that is mentally beneficial – and, let’s be honest, just plain attractive.
2. Embrace the silly. It’s good for your body – all those endorphins! – and good for the world.
3. Laugh … and cry. Variety works wonders for your emotional wellbeing … and in proving the critics wrong.
4. Be flexible. It’s crucial to know your mission statement but being true to yourself means moving too. Others stay still. You make daredevil jumps.

Keanu, The Lover

All he really wanted to do was just get on with his work. It’s that conviction that keeps Keanu’s roles sexy but not calculated. He doesn’t try to be attractive. He’s too dedicated to stopping the bus, to finding the mainframe, to avenging Daisy’s death.

Buddhist proverb that says: ‘When walking, walk. When eating, eat’.

Purity equals conviction and conviction equals confidence. And confidence is sexy.

Give Attention

‘The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way’ Keanu once said. It’s true. Nothing is as much of a turn-on as attention.

1. Maintain eye contact. It shows attention. It’s not a staring competition though. That would just be creepy. Relax.
2. Try not to judge. Don’t jump to conclusions before the speaker has finished. Interruptions = turn-off.
3. Look for non-verbal cues too. How is the speaker’s tone of voice, their body language? Are they communicating more than they’re saying?
4. Don’t give advice. Solutions are best only when they’re asked for. Keanu would never mansplain.

Slow Down

The loss of slowness – of quiet contemplation, solitude, silence, focusing on one thing at a time – is a relatively recent change in society that we never seemed to have a say on.

So maybe try slowing down too? many psychologists championed the idea of ‘post traumatic growth’ – i.e. trying to learn from the shock new pace of life we had to adopt. Why? Because slowness makes you realise who and what are truly important to you.

It’s that openness that has made Keanu an icon for all sexualities. And one of the best things about an open mind like that is the vulnerability that comes with it. In enjoying a liberal view of the world, you’re basically admitting to not knowing everything, that there are new things out there to experience. And that’s exhilarating in both work and love.

We might like to believe that opposites attract but the numbers just don’t back it up. Really, we just don’t want a partner who completely challenges our world view or that we have to pretend to agree with. Validation and honesty feels much better than the anger of disagreement or the charade of lying. ‘Because we’re actors we can pretend and fake it’ admits Keanu, ‘but I’d rather the intimate investment was authentic’. Sensible man.

Tips for a most righteous romance

1. Pay attention. Listening to someone is caring. And caring is – how should we put it? – hot
2. Take time. Nature doesn’t hurry yet still gets everything done. Why not try the same with finding Mr/Ms/Mx Right?
3. Be vulnerable. Admit you don’t know everything about love and unexpected doors will open up.
4. Look for core similarities. Opposites attract but don’t always last. Similar backgrounds, attitudes, or opinions on The Matrix franchise make for strong foundations.
5. Keep something back. Spotlights are great for a film set, not so great for trusting relationships.

‘I’m Mickey Mouse’ Keanu once quipped. ‘They don’t know who’s inside the suit’. It’s a commitment to privacy that makes sense. By only taking off those red shorts and massive yellow shoes for your loved ones, you build a bond of authenticity that can never be broken.

Keanu, The Pioneer

‘Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today.’ KEANU

‘To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment’ - American thinker Ralph Waldo Emerson.

‘He had so much energy that he didn’t know what to do with.’

Restlessness like that might never disappear but at least it can be channelled elsewhere; the adrenaline that comes with anxiety transformed into something productive rather than simply being muted. ‘Energy can’t be created or destroyed, and energy flows’ says Keanu, displaying his knowledge of The First Law of Thermodynamics (naturally). ‘It must be in … some kind of internal, emotive, spiritual direction. It must have some effect somewhere’.

We have all been given the power to create positive experiences through our choices, but if we believe that other forces rule how we live then we give away all that power. Pioneering means going out on a limb, standing by our decisions. Do we really have control over our life unless we are willing to take responsibility for it?

Tips to help you push the boundaries

1. Be open to new experiences. Seeking novelty doesn’t have to mean doing crazy things. It just means doing fresh things.
2. Stimulate your mind. No one ever pioneered anything in the comfort zone.
3. Be creative. Slavishly memorising stuff is one thing but it’s kinda boring. Allow your brain to think creatively and you’re more likely to stay with a challenge and find something new.
4. Avoid the shortcut. The Matrix films aren’t classics because they went for the lowest common denominator. They’re happily cerebral, refusing easy answers.
5. Talk. Even Keanu talks. Okay, maybe not a whole bunch but he talks to the right people: fellow pioneers. And then, suitably inspired, it’s down to him to move forward.

‘Teachers open the doors. You enter by yourself’ goes the old Chinese proverb.